the challenge of saying yes

I’m a “no” mom.  One of those moms who has a hard time saying yes to my kids.  It’s not because I’m mean or want to squash all the fun out of life.  Sometimes I might say no because it’s just seems easier.  If I say no then there won’t be a mess to clean up, if I say no then I won’t be inconvenienced. 

Let me say this painful truth again, if I say no then I won’t be inconvenienced. 

Yes, I said that.  I say no a lot because it feels like a big inconvenience to say yes to my kids. 

I’ve been realizing that no is rarely ever the right answer.  I can still hear Dr. Laura’s words in my ears saying, “You need to say yes to your kids all the time.  If it’s not dangerous, deadly or illegal why are you saying no?”  Or something like that.  The world will do a fine job of saying no to our kids, don’t you think? 

I want to be a “yes” mom.  I really do.  But it’s really hard for me.  I’m working on changing that, I’m working on being less selfish and more willing to change my agenda and my to do list to leave room to saying yes.  Because when I’ve scheduled and structured my day so much then there is no room for spontaneous yeses to my kids. 

Isn’t that true of our lives as well?  We think things should fit neatly in a box (at least I do), then God interrupts.  He asks us to do something, he tries to bless us, he tries to reveal himself to us, and we’re too busy saying no the unplanned that we miss the greater thing he is doing.

I don’t want the word yes to be a difficult thing to say, to my kids or to my God.

It’s a challenge for me to say yes, but I’m up for it.  How about you?  Is this a struggle you have, or do you find yes easy?

(and here’s a little picture of our trip through the mustard fields down in California)

a happy weekend

we got out of town.  yippie!

 

we sat in a snowstorm along the way.  but we didn’t have to chain up. 

 

even better, we made it to my parent’s.  double yippie! 

 

(I love this brother of mine)

 

we celebrated Levi’s eighth birthday, surrounded by family.

 

 

we took advantage of a break in the stormy weather for a photo shoot.

 

it was fun.

 

we are tired and have a long drive home tomorrow.

 

then it’s back to real life. (and I have to have an mri on tuesday…I’m nervous-45 minutes in a tube, how on earth am I going to do it?  I’m hoping for sleep, that should help right?)

 

the end.

 

hope you all had a happy weekend too!

grateful

The later day light hours of the day have left us all feeling like we’ve got a bit more free time right now, and we’re loving it. That let me sit and be after dinner while the girls played dress up. I let them have their fun and didn’t worry one bit about the mess. That’s usually hard for me, but I let it roll last night. I think that was key to us having a lovely, relaxing evening.

So I’m grateful for some hooking time while Zac folded laundry (look at me ignoring those messes!)

grateful for yummy carrot bread and book time with the kids

grateful for a husband who is not afraid to tackle the job of styling little girl’s hair (the Dyson is a great styling tool by the way)

grateful for a completed project

and of course, grateful for cookies

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And it’s spring break, even though it snowed this morning. I’m sure spring will show up sooner or later, I just hope she makes her arrival before it’s summer. And right now we’re trying to get out of town, unfortunately the van is in the repair shop having a tire fixed. They may or may not be done today. We may or not be leaving tomorrow as planned.

Here’s to flexibility and flying by the seat of our pants!

Hope you’re all having a great week!

a girlie room

The girls’ room has been purged, cleaned, scrubbed and rearranged.  I spent the entire day Thursday working at it, filled up five bags (four to donate, one to trash) and ended it with one sore back and two happy girls.  I’d say it was a mission accomplished.

We decided to move the beds for a change of pace and for a place to disguise messes made on the floor when they’re playing.  And the direction of the cubby storage means I don’t have to see the perpetual mess from the hallway.  It’s the little things that make my house peaceful.  I know there will be messes, but if I don’t have to see them all day long I’m a happy momma.  I love to walk by and see neatness, and I know that maintaining neatness is tough for little girls.  So I’d rather hide messes by clever furniture placement.

The dresser holds some special toys and books, including hand crocheted Morton that was Zac’s as a boy.  He’s wearing the orange shirt up there.

And in case you were wondering, here is what it looked like before.  Scary, huh? In my defense, I let it get messy during the week because I knew I’d be cleaning everything out anyway.  But it was still pretty bad. 

Today we tackle the boy’s room.  Who has a bigger mess than the girls to deal with.  Wish me luck, I’ll be needing it (and some Advil).

I’m sharing with Heather at Blessed Little Nest today.

just a few days

a bit of yesterday and a bit of today, all jumbled together….

you’ve got your random sillies, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, a little girl who offered to pay me 32 cents for being her teacher (how cute is that?), school work, more random sillies, a peek of a really clean girls’ room, my afternoon working away, pizza for dinner after ballet, waffles for dinner the next night, and two girls who snuggled with mommy on the bed (streaming netflicks, I love you so)

and there you have it, life around here lately. 

and guess what else? it’s spring break, and that’s just lovely.  we’ve all needed the break from school around here.  but you know what the bummer is?  it snowed today.  I’m officially done with this winter business.  hopefully it will be clear tomorrow so we can see the biggest moon in 18 years.  yep, the moon will be closer to earth than it has been in 18 years.  it should be quite a sight at sundown, if the weather cooperates.  if I was a really with it homeschool mom I would tell you that we’re studying the solar system  right now just for this very reason.  but I’m not, we’re studying it because that’s what Levi choose when I asked.  but his timing is incredible. 

and one more thing, I’ve been checking off stuff from my version of 40 bags in 40 days.  I don’t think I’ll get to 40 bags, but I did fill up 4 just from the girls’ room.  wow.  this is nice.  I’m looking forward to how clean things will be when it’s all said and done.  and you should see the grimy bucket of water after wiping down the blinds in the school room.  oh my, it’s quite gross. 

and with that image, I’ll bid you all goodnight.  happy weekend, happy spring break, happy first day of spring!  (if we could just get the weather to cooperate)

why we homeschool, reason number 85

To give my children the opportunity of a long childhood.  We all know that kids are growing up so fast days, as youth pastors we see it.  We live it.  We mourn for the early loss of innocence, we cry over hard grown up lessons that kids have to learn way too early.  We see how society is pushing little boys and girls into something God did not intend for them.  We know he has a better way.  For us that better way is homeschooling.  You might say that I’m choosing to insulate my kids, that I’m sheltering them too much.  And yes, you might be right.  But I’ll say, if I don’t shelter and protect them, who will?  Isn’t that my job as a parent?  I want them to stay young and carefree as long as possible.  Because I don’t want my daughters to be seventh grade girls talking about who’s hooking up with who and where they’re doing it.  I want my daughters to be oblivious to boys and the trouble they can cause, at least until they are mature enough to handle it.  I want my son to be away from the above mentioned types of girls.  I want him to not notice how quickly girls are developing these days (too many hormones in our food anyone?)

We homeschool because we believe that it’s our duty and privilege as parents to protect our kids as long as possible, while preparing them for the harsh realities of life. We want them to grow in a way that’s undistracted from all the junk that is around us.  We want to be the ones who mold them into responsible grown ups: not the school system, not the state, not their teachers, not their peers.  As we teach and lead them we feel like we are giving them the chance to have a longer childhood, more carefree, less trouble. 

And that’s just one of the reasons.

And for the record, I love being home with my kids this way.  Even on the days that are hard, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.  Well, some days I would-but not for too long.

40 Bags, 40 Days {the condensed version}

I’ve been totally intrigued with this 40 bags, 40 days thing. It’s something I’ve seen done for Lent. We don’t typically celebrate Lent, but we do enter Easter season a bit more purposeful in our spiritual studies and discipline-simply because of the seriousness that Easter brings. It’s not just eggs and chocolate for us.

But I saw the 40 bags purge idea over at Clover Lane and loved it. I love the idea of simplifying and purging out what you don’t need, and having a deadline and list in hand to get it done really appeals to me. Because, honestly, if someone’s not telling me to clean out my closets you can sure as bet that I won’t be cleaning them out for fun.

The only issue for me was that devoting forty days to this kind of project seems downright impossible. In my real life I homeschool three kids, that in itself is like a job outside the home. I can’t focus on any other things around the house and teach them effectively at the same time. So that means that housework and things get shifted to the afternoon once our lessons are done. With lunch and dinner time thrown in there, I usually don’t have much extra time for anything else.

So I came up with a condensed version that works for our home and still lets me target those nasty areas that tend to accumulate junk. I call it my “lots and lots of bags in just 12 days plan.” Catchy huh? What I really did was make a list of the areas that I knew needed my attention, the kids bedrooms and my closet being on the top of the list. I ended up with twelve areas. Then I took my calendar, and my schooling schedule, and my out of town twice between now and Easter schedule and plotted it all out. I’ve got one area for each day. And some areas I’ve allotted a few days, because I realize that I lead a busy life and can’t deep clean and purge all the time. Not that I really want to anyway……

So I’m excited to get started today. A cleaner and simplified house is just lovely to me!

Sharing with Heather at Blessed Little Nest.

risk, faith, hearing God

Risk and faith are a tricky business, aren’t they?  God asks us to do big things sometimes, big scary things.  And those always require an element of faith to get them done.  They also always carry some sort of risk.

Abraham risked his son.

Matthew risked his occupation.

Moses risked his upbringing.

Mary risked her reputation.  Come to think of it so did David, Ruth, and John the Baptist.

Why did all these people make such bold moves in the name of God?  Because they heard him.  Some audibly, some through a dream, and some in a face to face interaction.

Hearing God, really and truly hearing his voice, should always spur us to action.  It ought to get us moving.  And again, that’s where risk and faith collide. 

But often, that can also leave us wondering if we’ve really heard God or not. 

My kids have wondered aloud to me many times, “what does God sound like?”  Honestly, I wonder that too sometimes.  But I can say with certainty I have heard God, his voice comes in a variety of ways for me.  And I realize that his voice can come in completely different ways to you.  That’s the neat thing about God, he made each us unique and he speaks our own unique language.

When I talked about our risky move, that big one that took so much faith, I shared that my husband and I had heard God speak clearly.  He did.  And we listened.  But we also wondered along the way, “is this really God?”  Because we knew if it was just us making this whole thing up we were toast.  Through experience we’ve come to understand how God speaks and what that means for us.

First off, he speaks through the Bible.  That is his word to us, irrefutable, infallible and unchanging.  I’ve heard often that the Bible is nothing but a bunch of rules to follow.  I don’t see it that way, I see it as guide on what to do, not what not to do.  And if what I’m about to do, or what I’m planning on doing goes against the Bible then what I’m doing is wrong.  That is one way that God speaks.

But sometimes we need to make big life decisions, like moving or quitting a job.  No where in the Bible does it say: “Zac and Gina: it’s time to move, quit your job and go to Central Oregon.”  That’s where we have to learn the art of hearing all the other ways that God speaks.

God speaks through circumstances.  In our situation, we knew we needed to move.  So we did.  Unfortunately once we did it took longer for Zac to find a job that we had hoped it would.  In the meantime he dreamed out loud, a lot.  He wondered what it would be like to open his own business.  He thought that would be a great fit for our lives, and for why we moved for in the first place:  being the youth pastor at a new church that couldn’t offer us a paid position.  As he dreamed, I worried.  If we opened our own business, would it fail?  What if we couldn’t buy a house?  What if, what if, what if?  Ultimately he found a job.  We bought a home and moved in.  Things went along fine, except that Zac always wondered.  And his job?  Well, it wasn’t his favorite.  He still had that dream of opening a business, but at that point it seemed ridiculous.  Until the day he lost his job because of the economic downturn.  God spoke through our circumstance of job loss that it was now the time to open that business.  I know he could have just quit his job and done that, but it honestly never even occurred to us at the time. 

I’m constantly reminded that God engineers our situations and circumstances so that we can hear him.  He wants us to be where he wants us to be, even more than we do.  Our part is to practice listening, the more we practice the better we will get at really hearing his voice.  It’s a process.  It’s an art.  It’s something I’ve committed myself to for the long haul.  How about you?

color

it’s raining, it’s pouring, I’d rather be in bed snoring…

I know that’s not how it goes, but the rainy dreary weather has me longing for spring.  And for flip flops.  And for skirts.  And open windows.  I’m sure you feel the same, unless you live somewhere warmer than here and are already enjoying all of those things.

Up here in Central Oregon the sun usually does shine, but spring can be wet from time to time.  Right now is one of those times.

So when the girls and I stopped off at our favorite grocery store (at least in town) we couldn’t resist these primroses.  We each picked one. 

And since then we’ve been slowly doing what we can with what we have to add some color to the house.

A favorite quilt now sits on the comfy chair in the kitchen.  Our initials got a splash of paint.  The bouncy balls were collected and put in a dish.  The kids made some Kandinsky inspired art.  And I’ve been working on some little crochet flowers. 

And now we look longingly out the window, because we know spring will come and it will eventually stop raining/snowing/hailing/wind storming.  At least we pray it would.

Do you find yourself adding color to your surroundings this time of year?

what Saturdays are for

Saturdays are for long runs, alone.

Saturdays are for fort building.

Saturdays are for cereal at the counter, in your jammies at one in the afternoon.

Saturdays are for family adventures. 

(Okay, now don’t go filling up my inbox with emails about how we’re ruining our children or indoctrinating them or creating crazy people by exposing them to the proper use of firearms.  This happens to be a family activity that we all enjoy, that we can all do together.  We teach them safety and proper usage, and expect them to act with maturity and responsibility.  If they don’t then they don’t go out.  We have a this great place that we can go to anytime, on private land owned by a friend.  This happens to be ten minutes out from home.  Every one is safe, every one has fun.  The end.  Back to Saturdays.)

Saturdays are for baking cakes.

Also, this Saturday was for looking through an old cookbook and being amazed when I found a recipe for pork cake.  Really, pork cake.  The ingredients listed there include one pound of ground pork, that has to sit in boiled water for a bit.  Then you mix it with the rest of the cake stuff, including raisins.  I will not be baking this next Saturday, or any other Saturday for that matter.  Unless it’s on a dare.  Well, no-not even then.  Can imagine how weird that must taste?

Saturdays are for letting your hair do whatever it wants.  Scary but true.  Also, it appears that Saturdays are for no makeup.  That’s okay too.

Saturdays are for pretending you’re a bride.

Saturdays are for cake eating.

Saturdays are for granny squares.

And unfortunately, around here Saturdays are not for sleeping in.  Thankfully, Sundays are for afternoon naps.  And that is something that I’m looking forward to. 

Saturdays are good, hope you’ve had a great weekend so far!

the intersection of risk and faith

The Nester had a great post yesterday about risk taking.  After reading it I got to thinking.  She was talking all about taking a risk in our decorating, but I think that her point applies to all of life.

Taking risks is hard, there’s no other way around that.  Risk taking is something that comes naturally to some folks but so very hard to others.  I used to fall into the last group.  I preferred little risks, or none at all.  I liked predictable, and to me boring was the most exciting thing I could think of.

But then God got a hold of me.  Not just a gentle grasp, but the all consuming grip of a deep and personal relationship.  That grip has forever changed the way I live my life, and it has completely altered the way I look at risks.

It’s easy to stay safe, to not risk anything.  We do this to keep ourselves from pain, we do this out of fear, we do this for lots and lots of reasons.  But when we do this we miss out on on life.  Real life. 

About five years ago God started stirring up some things in Zac and me.  At first it was a gentle little stir.  But gradually it become an all out high speed beating, like when you beat heavy cream to make whipped cream.  Eventually we knew God was asking us to make a move.  This move required a lot of us, it was risky and it was downright scary.  Following God here meant Zac quitting his secure full time job.  It would require us to sell our house.  It would move us across the state into a lot of unknowns.  We moved without a job in hand for Zac, we moved without a home to move too.  But God had all of that in mind, he was not unaware of our situation.

And that’s where faith and risk collided.  We took a giant risk in moving.  But we knew we were not making that move alone.  We knew that if God was calling us to do this thing, he would go with us.  And that made that risk seem a little less risky.  I guess some people thought we were foolish, but we couldn’t see any other option.  The call of God was so strong on this that we couldn’t ignore it.  

So we jumped in with both feet and we haven’t looked back.  In the midst of the move and everything that has happened since then we realized something.  What we once thought was risky was not at all that risky simply because we have never been alone.  Faith spoke louder than the risk.  Faith that if God was calling us to move he would provide.  Faith that the God of all creation had promised to be with us, always.  Faith that God could see the end when we could barely even begin to understand the beginning.  

Now risk looks different through the eyes of faith.  And it’s caused me to always analyze my fears and look at them in the light of God’s truth.  If God has placed me where I am in life then he will take care of the details.  The things in life that require risk are easier because I know that I walk through them with God.

What’s risky right now?  Getting married is risky, so is having children.  Pursuing my dreams is risky; speaking up, sharing my heart, and making goals all carry risk.  But when faith comes in they don’t have to be scary. 

I’ve been asking myself lately what I’m so afraid of.  Those fears are always smaller than God’s ability to come through in my situation. 

I think God asks big things of us because he wants to give us a chance to grow in him, to grow in our faith.  He asks us to do what seems impossible because impossible situations are where he does his best work. 

Today I will make a choice to list to the voice faith over the voice of fear, I will unabashedly go where God is asking me-even when it’s scary.