I’ve had those days. You’ve had those days. We’ve all had those days.
You know the ones. The times when you want to surrender, wave the white flag, retreat, run, hide. Or just give it all up and quit. Those days come. Sometimes they are simply just days. And sometimes they feel as though they begin as weeks that stretch into months, long seasons of overwhelming.
As a mother, homemaker, home school teacher I feel those days. I feel the long pull on my soul. The crushing weight of burdens and lists and chores and getting things done. And then there’s the students who are not always so enthusiastic about learning, there’s the ever mounting pile of laundry and dishes and the upcoming state required tests to prepare for. And you wonder “how oh how will I get this all done?” And “why oh why are we doing this in the first place?”
There are days that feel like they will suck the joy right out of you. Suck the life right from your spirit. And the burden leaves you feeling alone and tired and all wrung out.
And that my friends is where grace finds you. At least that is where grace has found me. On the heels of Christmas break, I discovered a time when I found myself actually enjoying being with kids. I was startled by the realization. I had not enjoyed, I mean truly enjoyed, their company in a long long time. That is very tough to admit. Now, it’s not that they are terrors, quite the contrary, they are wonderful children. I do adore them, love them. I just found myself not liking them. And if you’re a parent you might probably know that feeling. When feeling this way some parents can kiss their kids and send them off to school and then take a much deserved breath. I however throw them their breakfasts and drag them upstairs to the school room.
It’s a tough cycle to be in.
But God’s grace was revealed to me in the middle of it.
And it’s found me piecing together a strategy of what to do when do you feel like giving up, changing gears or abandoning ship.
That is where we are right now, doing some major praying and evaluating. Yes, we are looking at ending this homeschooling journey. And I’m finding it’s a tough one to quit. I’m finding tough to talk about, to write about, to even think about. Numb might be a good description for me right now.
I’ve been wondering how to do this well. So, a quick Google search led me to tons of articles and blog posts about beginning your homeschool journey, with tips on how to pick curriculum, plan your day, notify your state and much, much more. Not one single thing could be found on how to end your homeschool journey well. So I’m stretching that out in my mind, trying to figure out how to end the year well when I really feel like I’m done now. I’ll be sharing my journey here as I hash it out simply because it helps me to sort through my emotions over this whole thing. Feel free to join in the conversation here, because I think the principals of ending well can be applied to many more situations than simply homeschooling. Obviously, I’ve got more to say about this. Just not today, honestly I’ve cringed at the thought of hitting publish on this thing. But then I read what Scooper had to say yesterday, and was greatly encouraged that I’m not alone. If she feels what she’s feeling and I’m feeling what I’m feeling, then I bet there are others who might be feeling the same way too.
So bear with me friends, we’ll get through this hump and this season and I bet in a while things will be looking up over here in my little world.