not so random stuff

Making a Hard Decision: the road to ending our homeschool journey

2012-01-25T10:48:00.001-08:00

(Cayden, being completely honest with her situation during Monopoly)

On the other side this big decision I realize that pulling back from the normal for a bit helped me to realize that change was needed. Drastic change. That long Christmas break we took from school provided some clarity that I would not have had otherwise.

This school thing has helped me to sort out how to make a tough call, and how to determine if a big change is needed.

The first step for me was taking a break from the situation.

Sometimes when we’re making big deal decisions we have to pull back from the situation we are in. Taking a break is vital. It’s like backing way up to get a better view of a landscape, up close you can get lost in the details, but from a distance you can see the whole thing. I needed distance on this one.

Bathe the process in prayer.

And in the process we prayed. Lots. And cried lots too. That’s part of dealing with emotions isn’t it? Someone mentioned to me somewhere along the way that you cannot base decisions on how you feel, or you can’t let emotions guide you. But I don’t really know if that’s always the case. I think God gives us emotions for a reason, and often they serve as an indicator of what’s going on in our lives. My constant feelings of dread concerning school, feeling overwhelmed by school, feeling unable to emotionally attach to anything (especially my kids) all provided some clues that something needed to change. For me the tipping point was someone at church asking me if I could help her one afternoon with a decorating project. She was asking for a couple of hours. And her request left me in tears, so I had to ask myself why. And that slowly led to me realizing that this wasn’t a case of simply toughing it out, or bucking up and wearing big girl panties to get through the day. I firmly believe that God’s spirit placed those feelings in me to indicate that a change was needed. I don’t understand all the whys of that need for change but I do trust God’s sovereignty and leading. I could only come to realize all of that through prayer. My connection to God was a life line through all this. So was my other rock, my husband.

Get an outside opinion.

My husband was vital in this, and he loved me enough to fire me. Yes, he fired me from the job of teacher because he knew that something wasn’t working in our house. That something was me, his wife. I hate to use that old standby, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” But there’s truth in that, I think it applies to fathers as well. I’ve been a red hot mess, and that was affecting my family. He lovingly and graciously helped me to see that continuing in this path was really unhealthy for us, our marriage, our household, our family. So I took his advice. It wasn’t easy, but it was sound and godly and right. I trust his opinion because I know he hears from God.

Walk in peace.

And in the end, we made our decision and now we get to walk in freedom because we know God is in it. At this point I will look the other way when people look at me, shocked that I would do something so terrible as enroll our kids in public school. (Really and yes, that has happened.) I will go back to the fact that I know God has made his path clear to us and at the end of the day, I trust him. I won’t lie and say this is easy as can be, it’s hard and I’ve got mixed up feelings about it. But over it all, I’m trusting and confident and at peace. And I think that’s the biggest indication that the decision was the right one, I have peace. I’ve not had peace concerning homeschooling in a very long time.

It’s been a journey and a process. I’m grateful for it because it’s helped me relearn how to hear from God. And at the beginning of a season of restoration I’m anxious to see what else he is up to. I’m eager to get back in touch with God, with my husband, and with my kids. I’m excited to be able to have time to connect with friends. I’m looking forward to wearing only the mom hat around here. I think it’ll fit me really well.

Friday = Relieved

2012-01-21T14:27:00.000-08:00

early start to a Friday, coffee and Jesus at 6 am.

waffles for breakfast amid conversations of public school, I was testing the waters-planting seeds. (and I hate that green table. hate it. impulsive buys at thrift stores aren’t always the best idea. I’m crossing my fingers that this is the year I get a new big farmhouse table)

then off to school at 8:45

yes, that’s a pout there. it was slow going today. really slow.

at 11 I switched students and it got even slower. gah….it’s getting clearer and clearer that we are headed in the right direction for school. even though it’s hard.

didn’t even get to the kindergartener today….she was mastering self timer shots while I was upstairs with the others

12:30 lunch, then zooming off to get chores all done…..

but… in the middle a long conversation with all three kids about sending them to public school. not in the fall but like next month. we’ve been praying for God to prepare their hearts, prepare us and he has. they are so receptive and excited. (even though they are nervous, understandably so.) and I cannot even begin to explain the weight that was lifted during that conversation. I am so relieved. I feel a freedom like I haven’t in a long time. that is good, this is good….on to the rest of the day

afternoon walmart trip

rainy, rainy, rainy

4:30 back home, one to karate, one kid out with a friend, making pizza and settling in

evening activities of americas funniest home videos, just added on netflix. my kids love it so. playmobile playing. and some friend time for the kids.

they went to bed and we started true grit. and nodded off. and so decided to call it a night. cuz we’re crazy old people who think that going to bed (and sleeping) and ten on a friday is living the wild life.

and that is a wonderful way to start the weekend, don't you think?

for when you want to throw in the towel-saying goodbye to homeschooling, part one

2012-01-18T15:11:00.001-08:00

I’ve had those days. You’ve had those days. We’ve all had those days.

You know the ones. The times when you want to surrender, wave the white flag, retreat, run, hide. Or just give it all up and quit. Those days come. Sometimes they are simply just days. And sometimes they feel as though they begin as weeks that stretch into months, long seasons of overwhelming.

As a mother, homemaker, home school teacher I feel those days. I feel the long pull on my soul. The crushing weight of burdens and lists and chores and getting things done. And then there’s the students who are not always so enthusiastic about learning, there’s the ever mounting pile of laundry and dishes and the upcoming state required tests to prepare for. And you wonder “how oh how will I get this all done?” And “why oh why are we doing this in the first place?”

There are days that feel like they will suck the joy right out of you. Suck the life right from your spirit. And the burden leaves you feeling alone and tired and all wrung out.

And that my friends is where grace finds you. At least that is where grace has found me. On the heels of Christmas break, I discovered a time when I found myself actually enjoying being with kids. I was startled by the realization. I had not enjoyed, I mean truly enjoyed, their company in a long long time. That is very tough to admit. Now, it’s not that they are terrors, quite the contrary, they are wonderful children. I do adore them, love them. I just found myself not liking them. And if you’re a parent you might probably know that feeling. When feeling this way some parents can kiss their kids and send them off to school and then take a much deserved breath. I however throw them their breakfasts and drag them upstairs to the school room.

It’s a tough cycle to be in.

But God’s grace was revealed to me in the middle of it.

And it’s found me piecing together a strategy of what to do when do you feel like giving up, changing gears or abandoning ship.

That is where we are right now, doing some major praying and evaluating. Yes, we are looking at ending this homeschooling journey. And I’m finding it’s a tough one to quit. I’m finding tough to talk about, to write about, to even think about. Numb might be a good description for me right now.

I’ve been wondering how to do this well. So, a quick Google search led me to tons of articles and blog posts about beginning your homeschool journey, with tips on how to pick curriculum, plan your day, notify your state and much, much more. Not one single thing could be found on how to end your homeschool journey well. So I’m stretching that out in my mind, trying to figure out how to end the year well when I really feel like I’m done now. I’ll be sharing my journey here as I hash it out simply because it helps me to sort through my emotions over this whole thing. Feel free to join in the conversation here, because I think the principals of ending well can be applied to many more situations than simply homeschooling. Obviously, I’ve got more to say about this. Just not today, honestly I’ve cringed at the thought of hitting publish on this thing. But then I read what Scooper had to say yesterday, and was greatly encouraged that I’m not alone. If she feels what she’s feeling and I’m feeling what I’m feeling, then I bet there are others who might be feeling the same way too.

So bear with me friends, we’ll get through this hump and this season and I bet in a while things will be looking up over here in my little world.

improvising….circle granny squares

2012-01-16T21:23:00.001-08:00

Today my brain feels like mush. In my other life, the not as glamorous as a homeschooling/stay at home mom life, I’m a bookkeeper. I know. It’s riveting, isn’t it? Sometimes when I’m working all I can think of is Kevin from The Office saying, “I do the numbers.” It’s not the smartest moment.

Needless to say, it can be a bit of a brain drain. And since I’m a bookkeeper for a church I find myself with at least a few days a year filled with mindless spreadsheets and data entry as I get all the donation receipts for the prior year together. I know, you’re bored already aren’t you? That was my day today. It was cold and dreary outside and threating snow, so I worked away. All. Day. Long. I stopped only long enough to go downstairs and get a snack and then jump up and down to get the blood flowing back to my extremities.

So tonight I’m happy to move on to things that are more fun, like my newest project.

I found a crochet blanket on Pinterest a while back, it was originally on Ravelry. It was love at first sight. Unfortunately the pattern had to purchased. Due to the Ramsey inspired envelope system the budget is quite squeaky, so I didn’t really want to do that. So what I love so much about this project was that I was able to come up with my own pattern, inspired from the one I found online. I’ve never been able to do that. It took a while, but I’m pretty pleased with the results. The best part is that I figured out how to join the squares as I go. If you’ve ever made granny squares then you know how daunting it is to deal with a large pile of grannys to join up.

So this is what I’ve been working on here and there. It’s quite pleasing to see those rows grow and grow. And it keeps me awake long enough to actually watch a movie. I’m thinking it’s time to start watching Downton Abbey, it’s long-you know how those Masterpiece Theater miniseries are. Long but I hear really good. I may take the plunge and start the first episode of season one this week. You know, in all my free time, she says sarcastically.

And that is the scoop around here. And if you’re interested I’d be happy to write up a post with a pattern, while I’m watching Downton or something :)

stitching

2012-01-11T15:18:00.001-08:00

We’ve been plodding over here. Plodding through our lessons, plodding through the days, just poking along. It’s been slow going. And I’ll be completely honest with you when I say that it’s been tough. Going back to our school schedule and routine has been a tough adjustment. I’m finally, albeit very slowing, adjusting to the fact that it will take the better part of my day to teach all three kids their lessons. It leaves just about zero time for anything else. And that’s been hard.

So I’ve been writing, bits here and there. Yes, writing. As in maybe someday all these pieces of paper will be put together to make something more, something bigger. I am writing on slips of paper, on the back of grocery receipts, on the kids’ coloring pages from church, everywhere really. Trying to get my thoughts out, running with every whim of inspiration that comes my way. Unfortunately life as it is leaves very little time to process these things, and I’m finding myself surrounded by slips of paper. That is okay.

This season that we are in is unique to us. And I would love so much for there to be a book on how to homeschool three kids who are in kindergarten, first and third grade without losing your mind. But I know that each family’s homeschooling journey is different. Although, I am guessing I’m not alone when I am feeling overwhelmed and just generally done with it all.

In the meantime when not scribbling, I’ve been stitching. It’s something to do while waiting at ballet or other places. Something that causes me to sit and put my feet up without feeling like I’m being totally lazy. It’s just a little something. Someday it will be a blanket. And maybe someday I’ll tell you about my word for the year, and other more interesting things.

For now, it’s just the blanket in progress. Kind of like me, in progress, being stitched together piece by piece. I’m grateful for God’s patience with me.

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and in other unrelated new we got a new washing machine. in all seriousness yesterday was probably one of my most exciting days as a homemaker. we spent the better part of yesterday washing. and my husband, who knows the way to my heart, spent the better part of last night folding. is folding laundry sexy? around here, you bet it is :)

would you buy it? {crochet tea set}

2012-01-05T20:26:00.001-08:00

So I made a sweet little tea set for my niece for Christmas and my husband is saying I should bust these out and sell them.

I’m thinking, really? Would anyone really want to buy these? I think they’re quite cute myself, but I just don’t know.

Would you? I’m wondering…they’re really fun to make.

Maybe I could make and sell enough to buy a new washer and dryer? Cuz our washer broke, and the pile of nasty, stinky laundry is growing at an alarming rate. Never mind that we just bought the thing in May from craig’s list. To replace the washer we already had but was working just fine. Funny enough, we needed a new dryer at the time and all we could find was a set. So we thought, “shoot dang, let’s just buy the set and sell our perfectly good but old washer. what’s the worst that can happen?” I guess we know the answer to that now.

So, how many would I have to sell to buy a new set anyway?

grace sandwich

2012-01-03T15:54:00.001-08:00

It’s a redeeming end to a rough start kind of day. Back to school, back to schedule, back to routine. We took too much time off in December, way too much time. And we’re paying for it now. It’s been rough, parts of the school day took longer then they should have and I was still make up free in jammies at noon today. That alone will make a girl feel icky. I had at least taken a shower, that much I can say.

Oh, and there’s a massive puddle in my laundry room due to the broken washer fiasco of 2011. Thank you craig’s list. We needed a new dryer earlier this year and could only find a set, but it was matching and they were in great condition. I think we got a lemon. It’s loud and squeaky and terrible and needs a diaper…but that is another story I guess. On to today…..

Our school day wrapped up, the sun came out, I put on some clothes and things turned around. So here I sit with a cup of coffee, listening to three kids screaming down the street on their bikes and watching the sun pour through my filthy windows. All is calm. There is peace. It’s not of my own making, not because I’ve done things just right to achieve that. It’s God’s gracious gift, in the middle of it all he brings me peace.

And on the cusp of a new year I’m grateful for God’s abundant gift of peace to me; peace and grace and mercy and freedom and unending love.

I’ve got my lists for the day, lists for the year. I don’t have many resolutions, just a few goals and some ideas and prayers for 2012. I’m trying to get some organizational system in place, and I bet I can write a book about a piler and a filer got married and figured out how to live in a small house happily ever after. But really, I want to end the year more like Jesus than I am today. I keep thinking of something my dear friend shared with me a few weeks ago. It was about her prayer to sandwich everything she does with grace. That people would notice that about her, when they were with her they would sense God’s presence and peace and grace as she comes and goes. And I can tell you, knowing her, that is true for her. I want to be like that. She took her inspiration from the apostle Paul who begins and ends each biblical letter with “grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.” That’s what I want for today, this week, this month, this new year, a life punctuated with grace.

And that will make for a good year.

And I guess if I was being really picky I’d ask for a brank spanking new washing machine. I wouldn’t mind that one bit.

How about you? Resolutions? Plans? Goals? What in 2012 has you excited?

2012: be changed

2011-12-31T14:11:00.001-08:00

The Christmas decorations are packed away and the Boy Scouts took the tree this morning, but there’s still bits of wrapping paper peaking out from under the couch. There are a few other reminders of the holiday out, but it mostly appears that Christmas is done. Over. Gone.

However, I don’t think that’s the final word. Christmas, the day, has passed. But the miracle of Christmas causes me to realize that what Christmas brings is really just the beginning.

Because Christ came, and nothing is the same. Everything changed on that silent night so long ago, why shouldn’t I be in search of change myself? Sometimes we go away from Christmas exactly the same as we approached it. I love the response of the wise men in the gospel of Matthew. They came and met Jesus and then went home a different way. They were changed. And as I stand here on the other side of Christmas I long to be changed too.

I think it’s fitting that New Year’s comes one week after Christmas. That we are given a week for reflection, a week that is typically quiet before we begin a new year. Could it be that we are meant to savor the miracle of Christmas? To allow it to change us? God gives us a new year, a changed heart, a fresh start.

As I think of 2012 I want to look at it with the realization that Jesus’s coming has changed me. And my response to that change is to change my habits and patterns. My resolutions then shouldn’t be about me, but about what God is doing in me. Through the lens of Christmas New Year’s resolutions become not aims for self-improvement but for God improvement.

My goals for the new year do include some standard ones. Things like more organizing, a few half marathons, less sugar and such. But my deeper goal is to live how Christ wants me to. To be grateful for a new year, with new opportunities and 366 new days to live my life God’s way. The blank slate ahead is exciting to me and has me thinking about what God wants to accomplish in me. My resolutions then are simple, live life God’s way. I realize that this takes a daily effort, it might not always easy then to live God’s way. But Jesus came for change, to turn things upside down in me and in you.

I long for my 2012 to reflect that. There are tons of great ideas out there for carrying out resolutions and making your life better, five minutes on Pinterest can tell you that. But I would say that not many of those really matter in the long run if I don’t approach New Year’s with a Jesus changed heart.

Being changed, every day then is the goal. Working closer towards Jesus, towards his fulfillment in my life.

Not that I have already obtained all this or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that which Christ Jesus took ahold of me. I do not consider myself yet to have taken ahold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3: 12-14, emphasis added)

after Christmas

2011-12-30T18:03:00.001-08:00

Christmas happened big time around here. In fact, we just had our second Christmas morning with my family.

Two Christmas mornings are mighty nice, don’t you think?

Now the tree is down and the house is sort of clean and we’re gearing up for a seventh birthday party tonight. Our sweet middle child is seven today and has planned (all by herself) a cheese party. Seriously folks, a cheese party. It’s a full meal deal, complete with fondue, mini grilled cheese, crackers and cheese, a giant veggie tray, and a Grampie made cheesecake. All her favorite things. It’s too bad that four adults in the family won’t be able to eat it due to dairy and gluten intolerances. That’s okay, it’s not about us.

And then tomorrow it’s all about games and family time and ringing in the new year. And then going to bed because we have church in the morning :)

That’s where we are today, and I’m feeling full. Not full of food (even though I am) but full of gratitude and emotion and thoughts about what a new year will hold for us as a family. I’m grateful for a new start, and a fresh year. And resolutions? Well I have a few ideas about those, but I’ll share them with you later.

For now it’s time to fire up the fondue pot my friends. Happy Friday, Happy December 30th, and Happy Almost New Year!

Christmas on Purpose: wrapping up, recent news, and unplugging

2011-12-20T12:30:00.000-08:00

I trimmed my bangs

I visited Starbucks

I tried to do something crafty

I baked some amazing gluten free, dairy free gingerbread cookies. They’re sneak with your morning coffee good. And then hide the rest from the kids.

I love the way this looks

Home Alone still makes me cry, lots

I made homemade body scrub and hand cream-really, I did and it’s amazing

I’m wishing hard for snow…sunshine and unseasonably warm temps are wonderful any other time of the year. In December I think they’re plain depressing. I’d give just about anything for a freak snowstorm. Really.

And I’m wrapping up my Christmas on Purpose Series. If you’ve been paying attention you might notice that it wasn’t really 30 days. I’m gonna be okay with that. And if you haven’t been paying attention that’s cool, it’s a busy time of year. But I just want to thank you for reading and being a part of this journey. These reminders have helped me to be fully present this season, even though I’m still wondering how it’s less than a week away now.

If you’d like to catch up click here for a link to all the posts:

Merry Christmas friends, I’ll leave you with my last challenge for celebrating Christmas intentionally: unplug. Close that laptop and power down that phone.

Go for a walk in the winter sun, sing too loud at the Christmas Eve service, be okay with the fact that a good rendition of O Holy Night makes you cry like a baby, make a snow angel, bless your neighbors, pray for your family, have a Christmas movie marathon, keep your sense of humor, embrace the gift of right now, and mostly importantly stop to reflect on the greatest gift this world has ever known. Christ’s birth, the hope of new life, the joy of his coming return, the freedom we can walk in because of all that.

I truly wish you joy and peace this week, this Christmas Season and in the coming New Year!

Christmas on Purpose: an encounter

2011-12-19T15:17:00.000-08:00

(this is repost from several years back, but fitting just the same. may you be encouraged by it.)

I was at Target the other night, picking up a few Christmas gifts to deliver to family over our Thanksgiving break. The girls and I were taking our time wandering the toy aisles; seeing what there was, pushing buttons and giggling lots. That's when we saw her. She looked like a very busy mom, bustling through with her cart loaded and a list longer than my arm. She had her bluetooth in her ear and seemed rushed and stressed. She stopped close to us to look at a toy cash register and commented to me how this one was better than the one on the next aisle, how it's on her son's Christmas list. She said, "That's what he wants. I just want it to be over."

With that she sped off, leaving me overcome by two feelings: sadness and exhaustion. The Christmas season hasn't even begun and she's ready to be done with it. It is so easy to miss it, isn't it? To miss the heart of Christmas because we are distracted by all the things that come along with the season, things that God never intended as we celebrate the birth of his son.

Matthew 11:28-30 gives us an invitation. It says, "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." I believe that's what God has in mind for us, especially during this Christmas season. I'll be the first to admit that I have a hard time finding rest and remembering the heart of Christmas. I like to decorate and shop and bake, and have things just so for my home and my family. Those things are good, but they distract me from the main thing.

In the midst of that I hear God calling me back to a place of rest and remembrance. He is inviting us not to a Christmas event but to a Christmas encounter. An encounter with him this season that leaves us different, full of peace and rest. I think of the people we've come to know in the story of Christ's birth: the shepherds, the wise men, the evil King Herod, even Mary and Joseph, and so many more. Not one of those people came away unchanged after meeting Jesus. He made an impression, even as a small baby. He's still making impressions today; but we're usually too busy to notice, too busy to hear his voice calling us-inviting us to a life changing encounter with the Living God.

This season I want to answer that call, I want to trade all the pageantry and events of Christmas for an encounter. A meeting with God. That is the heart of Christmas, I pray that we don't miss it.

Christmas on Purpose: His story

2011-12-18T12:10:00.000-08:00

Christmas is all about retelling the story. The story of Christ’s birth, the story of love coming to earth, the story of the greatest gift.

His story is told everywhere. It is inescapable.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
   Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
f I rise on the wings of the dawn,
   if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
   your right hand will hold me fast. (Psalm 139)

The lights all around remind me of the light of the world.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men.The light shines in the darkness (John 1)

The candles on the table speak of the power of one single candle lighting the way.

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5)

The evergreen tree reminds me of his everlasting promises, his everlasting faithfulness, his everlasting love.

But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children (Psalm 103)

So this Christmas I do see him everywhere, because his story is everywhere told. It’s a love letter to us from him, just waiting for us to find it and find him. It’s the greatest story ever known.

Christmas on Purpose: be present

2011-12-17T15:05:00.001-08:00

It is just a week before Christmas. The house is trashed. There is evidence of a variety projects that have been started and stopped today by a variety of family members, strewn about like discarded wrapping paper. I have yet to address Christmas cards. No goodies have been baked. Just a few presents have been wrapped, but they all are purchased. At least I can say that. But it’s all good.

And you know what? In all of that mess, Christmas is still here. Jesus came to a messy world. And he dwells here, in the messes and the ordinary. He didn’t have to do that, but motivated by love he did.

Last night we watched a few of our favorite Christmas movies and I did something that I haven’t done so far this Christmas season. I sat and watched the all of them. I didn’t crochet, I didn’t blog, I didn’t multitask in any way. I gave myself and my family the gift of me being fully there, one hundred percent present. We turned off every light in the house, leaving the sparkly shine of Christmas tree and candles. We sipped peppermint hot chocolate. And we laughed and cried.

Being fully present, in each Christmas moment is my goal this week. As we lead up to the big day I will remember that I don’t need to be in a hurry, haste makes waste, and life is not an emergency. This week shall be savored, it shall be honored, it shall be sacred in even in the midst of the doing.

As I wrap presents I will be fully there, not thinking ahead to next task to check off the list.

As I grocery shop I will give myself lots of extra time, because I know others in that store will be feeling stressed and rushed. I will choose to put on peace, like my favorite winter coat. I will allow others to go first, because I’m really not in that big of a hurry.

“It’s not that big of a deal if…..” will be a part of my vocabulary. It’s not that big a deal if I forget something from the store, it’s not that big a deal if the kids completely make a disaster of all the wrapping paper as they wrap up their toys and books to give to one another, it’s just not that big of a deal if I don’t get everything done. Christmas will still come.

I will welcome in God’s spirit of peace and joy, right now-today. And I will allow God to set my pace, I will listen to his spirit promptings.

I’m grateful for Christmas peace. Peace that comes because of the Prince of Peace, the Wonderful Counselor, the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father. My Emmanuel, God with us, God is with me and you in the midst of all that is going around us.

And just as he is the God of all time I will also remember that he is the God of right now. The God of this present moment, and he wants me fully in it so that I can see what he is doing. And in that I can know him more. That is my challenge this week, be fully present in each moment. Listen to the God whispers all around me. Because just as he came in water, flesh and blood as a baby, he is still present in spirit right now.

Christmas on Purpose: be all there

2011-12-15T21:35:00.001-08:00

Christmas can pull at a person, can’t it? And even though I’m trying to be un-busy, I still find myself being lost the hurry scurry. It’s the pulling of this thing called life I think.

But in the midst of it I hear the words I read last night in this book, “where ever you are, be all there.”

Be all there, in the midst of it. Noticing, thanking, breathing in the essence of the right now. I want to be all there, all here in this Christmas season.

Gratitude goes a long way in this process. Stopping and noticing all there is to be thankful for, capturing the gift of now. Today I noticed the now, the gifts all around me. Because the stopping and thanking forces me to be in the moment, forces me not to think of the next thing.

the riot of birdsong, as if they’re celebrating something I don’t know about

the weak morning sun, breaking through clouds, bouncing off the frost on the juniper trees

the curve the youngest child’s cheek as she sleeps, the way her hair falls along her shoulder

Spending Christmas intentionally doesn’t just happen. It must be sought after. It’s a challenge to be all there right where I am, but worth the fight to do it. I want to be in the moment more, in doing that I truly can enjoy Christmas.

Christmas on Purpose: books

2011-12-14T15:09:00.001-08:00

We have special Christmas books. And as a teacher/mom I love reading them with my kids. Give me a pile of wonderful storybooks, three kids in their jammies, and an hour before bedtime and I’m a happy mom.

Yes, I have visions of being a librarian. I don’t know if that will happen in real life, but I can pretend with my kids, right?

Librarian visions aside, we have started a small collection of Christmas storybooks. We’ve usually only added one a year, but this year we’ll be adding three. I just couldn’t pick one.

So when the elves deem it appropriate, the kids get a new wrapped up book in the book basket. If you’ve been reading this series for a while you’ll notice that the “elves” do a lot for the kids. They are the ones who fill up the advent calendar with candies or small gifts or even activities. Of course the elves are just me and Zac, don’t tell. But there is a small conspiracy among the children of this house that some owls may be in on the delivery process. You know, Harry Potter style. Levi swears he heard owls hooting last night and so he’s beginning to wonder if the elves and Hedwig work together. I can only imagine the stories and traditions this will create as they one day tell their children about the owl/elves who delivered Christmas goodies every morning in the month of December.

So we add to our collection every December and once the Christmas decorations are packed away we pack the books away too. It’s always a treat when they come out of the box the next year. I think my favorite thing about this whole tradition is that we sign the inside of the new books each year. Everyone adds their signature and their age. It’s a precious collection of their growth, and often shocking to see how far their handwriting has come.

Traditions marked with intention make our Christmas season feel much more grounded and intentional. And I know these books will be a treasure as they grow.

Do you have special Christmas collections?

edited: I’m going to add our favorite books to this list so if you’re just starting out this tradition you’ve got some ideas, click on each title for the Amazon link

Santa Are you for Real? (this is a reprint, I’m blessed to have the 1977 version from my childhood, complete with lovely vintage drawings. Hands down, it’s our favorite.)

The Spirit of Christmas

Snowman at Night

Snowman at Christmas

God Gave Us Christmas

There was an Old Lady who Swallowed a Bell

There was an Old Lady who Swallowed some Snow

If you Take a Mouse to the Movies

Bear Wakes up for Christmas

What is Christmas?

Who is Coming to our House?

The Legend of the Candy Cane

Night Tree

Little Owl and the Star

and of course, we comb the library for ideas for new ones to add to our collection, there are so many wonderful Christmas stories!

Christmas on Purpose: stillness

2011-12-13T10:40:00.001-08:00

I was blessed with the gift of a quiet house yesterday. Like quiet, as in everyone gone but me for 4 hours. Seriously, best pre-Christmas present ever. As a homeschooling mom I rarely get a quiet house, at least not for long. So this was pretty special. What made it even better is that it was clean and it was cloudy and grey outside, with threats of snow. Perfect for sitting still. Perfect for being, not doing.

With Christmas coming fast I can feel the temptation to plunge headlong into fits of busy and “just get it done already.” I easily find myself rushing and stressed, not because I have any real reason to but because that is the pull of this world. Busy. Rushing. Hurry. Quick.

But God came in the midst of all that. In the middle of a crazy busy town, crowded with people. In the middle of a required trip, that I’m sure neither Mary or Joseph wanted to take. If you recall the story you’ll remember that Mary and Joseph had to go register in Bethlehem. They and perhaps hundreds or thousands of other people all in Bethlehem at the same time. So many that the inns were full and the streets were probably as crowded as the grocery store on Christmas eve. And that is when God choose to bring his son into the world. In the hustle and bustle, while the world was unaware he arrived. And those blessed enough to hear the announcement and pay attention to the signs were able to come and worship.

But I wonder how many looked backed on that night and realized they missed it. Realized that they had seen the star too, and heard the distant sounds of angel choruses. But their busy lives caused them to overlook the most important event ever.

I don’t want to be one of those people. I don’t want to overlook the birth of Christ. That is why a quiet, peaceful house was so vital to me yesterday. It slowed my spirit. I put on some coffee and pulled out the whipped cream. I sat with the quiet and reflected on Christ’s birth. That peaceful state of mind caused me to be in the right frame of heart. That doesn’t come with hustle and bustle, it only comes through stillness.

That stillness needs to be fought for. But it’s worth it. It really is. As Christmas comes closer I find that my need for stillness gets larger. Just like Mary pondered everything in her heart, I long for quiet contemplation. It puts me in the right frame of mind to receive the greatest gift I’ve ever known.

Don’t get lost in the bustle. Take the time for quiet. Make time for rest. Even if just for a few minutes.

Christmas on Purpose: no new décor & a home tour

2011-12-12T13:52:00.000-08:00

Welcome!!!! Come on in…..this is our Christmas home.

If you’re visiting for the first time today I’m so glad you’re here! And you’ve landed smack dab in the middle of my Christmas on Purpose series, where I’m sharing how we do Christmas for reals and intentionally in our family.

In terms of decorating I like to keep it pretty simple, not overly fussy, and kid friendly. Because I have kids and I don’t like to fuss to much. I also wanted to challenge myself to decorate our entire home for Christmas without buying one single bit of new decorations. Not one. It seems like every year I spend just a little bit on stuff for the house, and I can usually justify it by purchasing my stuff at a discount or at a thrift store. This year I didn’t want to do any of that.

Now, in all honestly I have spent about 5 bucks. I bought a strand of lights and I bought a handful of pinecone picks from the craft store (at 25 cents a piece I couldn’t say no…that was 70% off regular price!).

But that is all the purchasing I’ll be doing this year. So here is our home, all decked out in old stuff made newish by clever and creative arranging….

In through the front door, I love walking in and seeing our “mantel” all prettied up. And I also love seeing some of my favorite things for Christmas.

The nutcrackers are some of our favorite things. The elves who fill the advent box help us to add to our collection every year…you can see that we’re on year three this year. We usually find these at thrift stores or deeply discounted after Christmas, then they get packed away until the elves decide it’s time to deliver them.

In the kitchen I keep a simple nativity that I’ve had for a while, offset by colorful ornaments and shiny glitter.

I made a few Anthro inspired snow globes this year, using craft supplies I purchased last year. There’s no water in them but you get the idea. For the trees I used pieces of greenery that I bought for wreaths and garlands a few years back, I just hot glued them all into some quilting batting and threw fake snow and glitter in them. Easy peasy. And we don’t throw out those burned out bulbs, they’re great for decorating with too.

The stockings don’t get hung by the mantel mostly because there’s not really a mantel to hang them from. And if I do hang them they usually look like they’re floating in space or they’re at a great risk of bursting into flame from the fire. They’ll make their big debut Christmas morning.

And keeping things simple I just accented the wreaths with yarn balls I made from leftover yarn. Easy, free, nice.

In the kitchen we made a hot chocolate spot, with fun cups and candy canes and plenty of homemade hot cocoa mix. You can’t have too much this time of year.

The powder room even got some love with my vintage inspired wreath and pinterest inspired snowflakes.

Perhaps one of my favorite additions to the house this year is a vintage typewriter I found at a local thrift store. It actually works and make a great centerpiece for my little nativity, my Jesus sign, and the words to my favorite Christmas song.

And then upstairs I let the kids go crazy with a little tree and all of our unique and handmade ornaments. They did this all themselves and I swear I think the girls grin with happiness when they walk by. Just like their mom.

In the girls room we always decorate the white tree, this year Pinkalicous debuted as the angel. My five year old is giddy over that one.

And our bedroom got a simple wreath with more easy yarn balls. It’s peaceful and relaxing, a favorite place to hide away.

It’s a cozy home and one we love to be in during the holidays, we love it so much that we don’t put too much on the calendar just so we can be home to enjoy it. I think what makes it so special is that the things we use to decorate with are special to us.

sharing with:

Christmas on Purpose: the good stuff

2011-12-11T12:56:00.000-08:00

This time of year we like to pull out the good stuff. Stuff like Bob’s Sweet Stripe candy canes and homemade hot chocolate. Because savoring Christmas means making time for the little things. Little things like peppermint hot chocolate with a candy cane and sprinkles make Christmas quite wonderful.

Hot chocolate with a candy is a special Christmas treat, and I love it.

What’s your favorite treat at Christmas time?

sharing with:

Christmas on Purpose: remember the forgotten

2011-12-10T18:24:00.001-08:00

We had a fun opportunity this week. Through some home school buddies we had a chance to visit an assisted living facility. I know that sometimes these places aren’t really all that fun to go to, but this was different somehow. And once I stopped crying I knew that this little place on the south side of town would be a regular stop for this little family of ours.

I cry because God has birthed compassion and love in me for the elderly, especially those that are left alone and forgotten. I cry because I know they have so many stories to tell. I cry because there aren’t enough people who are willing to stop and listen to those stories, however jumbled or dementia riddled they are. I cry because it makes me sad, and I think it makes God sad too. But thankfully there are people like the folks who run the place I got to visit this week. People who love Jesus so much that it oozes out of them into all they do. And these people thought it would be fun to gather a bunch of kids, throw some art supplies at them and let create masterpieces for the residents to have.

It felt like a sacred two hours for us. We met some amazing people, who have lived a lot more life than I have. They were beautiful. Really.

So on this day we stopped. We remembered those who are sometimes forgotten. That’s God’s heart, isn’t it? Especially at Christmas time.

There are elderly folks who are forgotten; but there’s also orphans, soldiers, prisoners, and more. In our community there are many chances to give, even if you can’t sit down with them in person like we did. There are giving trees, or they’re sometimes called angel trees for local children and seniors. Many business sponsor toy drives for foster children. Our church adopted 43 local children who need Christmas gifts, as well basic necessities like socks.

I believe God’s heart swells when we give to those who society might not always notice. And so we give, not win God’s favor or approval (because we don’t work for that). But we give because we have been on the receiving end of so much. We give because it’s the right thing to do, even when we cry through the whole thing.

James 1:27 reminds us that "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.”

That is what it’s about. Making Santa faces to cheer those who might be alone this season. Extending ourselves to others, not because of what we get back but because it’s what God says is the right thing to do.

Christmas on Purpose: a user friendly nativity

2011-12-09T21:32:00.001-08:00

If Christmas is all about Jesus coming to earth for everyone, then I want to make sure that he is accessible to my kids. I want them to be able to interact with him and his story.

That is why a user friendly nativity was at the top of my list about 4 years ago. Before we lived in this house we had a nice high, but still visible place (a.k.a out of the kids’ reach) to put a large and glorious nativity. I loved it. I still do. But in our new home there was no such place. And that lead to a lot of cringing on my part. The nativity seemed so fragile and my kids were so not gentle. And I think when I heard myself saying “don’t touch Jesus!” I realized something needed to change.

We stumbled upon this nativity at Goodwill. It met my two requirements of a nativity: budget friendly and kid friendly. Now they can play with it all they want. And I love that. They don’t play with it as much this year, I guess that is a sign of them getting older but last year I loved finding Jesus in all sorts of unexpected places. And isn’t that what Christmas is all about? Finding Jesus in all our unexpected places. He showed up here on earth in the most unexpected place and in the most unexpected way. A humble stable, a young virgin, a carpenter father, and angel choruses; all waited to greet the newborn king. And in his arrival he made himself accessible to all.

That is what I am to do as a parent, make him accessible. And it seems fitting that it starts at Christmas.

Christmas on Purpose: Sing

2011-12-08T11:16:00.001-08:00

I was having a particularly stressful moment yesterday. We were doing the crazy ballet runaround that we do every Wednesday, and our leaving was delayed over misplaced shoes and undressed girls. I was wound tight. Really tight.

But as we were driving home the song O Come, O Come Emmanuel came on. I turned it louder and sang along.

O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Wisdom from on high,
Who orderest all things mightily;
To us the path of knowledge show,
And teach us in her ways to go.

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan’s tyranny;
From depths of hell Thy people save,
And give them victory over the grave.

O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.

O come, Thou Key of David, come,
And open wide our heavenly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high,
And close the path to misery.

O come, Desire of nations, bind
In one the hearts of all mankind;
Bid Thou our sad divisions cease,
And be Thyself our King of Peace.

Rejoice I did. I’ve heard the words many times, I’ve sung along. But on this night I sang with feeling. And as my voice said the words my heart caught up. O come Emmanuel…..Ransom me, disperse the darkness. Come.

And that stress dissolved. And I wondered if maybe Buddy the Elf was really on to something, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.”

I want to sing more. My imperfect voice loving my perfect king, and my wrong attitudes set right.

I’ll be singing today, singing Silent Night, Joy to the World, O Come all ye Faithful, and more. Singing and praising my king. How about you?

Christmas on Purpose: no guilt

2011-12-07T15:06:00.001-08:00

Party invitations. Open houses. Children’s programs. Hand lettered Christmas cards. Home made cookies. Sparkly outfits. Tree decorating……..

And on and on and on.

There seems to be no shortage of things to do this time of year. It can be exhausting to think about. Especially as a homeschooling mom. And that is where I feel the urge to hitch my wagon to the guilt train. Guilt over not elegantly hand letting my Christmas cards, guilt over barely doing lessons with my kids, guilt over not crafting wonderful handmade gifts for my friends and family, guilt over saying no to certain events, guilt over not being able to do it all.

We should not be walking in guilt, especially this time of year. Jesus came to save us from condemnation, why do we so often take it up again? Because of what Jesus did we can walk in freedom, especially at Christmas.

Now, really walking in freedom is a lot easier to say than do. But it is possible. It comes by prayer, it comes by staying close to Jesus, it comes by figuring out what he wants your Christmas to look like. And then it comes by realizing that you have to say no to some things so that you can say yes to other things. And also by being gracious with others who do the same.

So at our house we say no to extra parties and then we say yes to family time. We say no to elaborate Christmas cards, so we can say yes to time making crafts with the kids. We say no to fancy gifts for friends and say yes to extra money to buy gifts for children in need. We say no to a lot of things, and that was hard to do at first. Really hard. But the more we practiced it, the better we got at it. And it’s allowed us to be free to do Christmas how we want, and how we feel honors our Lord.

So what can you say no to this season…and what does that leave more room for?

Christmas on Purpose: Christmas is Creating

2011-12-06T15:24:00.001-08:00

I love to create things at Christmas, fun things and yummy things, and crafty things that get glitter all over the house.

But what is most meaningful is to create art with purpose. Art that has meaning. I did just that this year. I’m sharing over with Nancy at the Goat and the Kid today, click over to read more……

Christmas on Purpose: make family time

2011-12-06T00:33:00.001-08:00

Get out the calendar. Grab a pen. Find a blank spot. Mark it “Family Time.” Repeat as necessary.

Because you want to spend Christmas time with the people you love most. So do I.

But a lot of times family times gets set on the back burner for other things. Things that are important too, but maybe not the most important.

I guess I’m reminding myself, and you, not to over commit too much this time of year. It’s easy to let the time get filled up.

But I know I want time with these guys to make cookies and watch Christmas movies, and hopefully to play in the snow.

Side note here, dear God, please bring us snow. Amen.

Part of doing Christmas on purpose is being intentional about doing what I think is most important, so I am making sure that I get family time in. And as hard as it is, it means I say to no to some things too. And that’s okay. I want to have time to build memories, time to build traditions.

(And as you might have guessed, I wanted an opportunity to show you our recent family pictures that my sister took over Thanksgiving weekend, I love how they turned out. And they make a lovely Christmas card that I quickly ordered up from Costco. Imagine my disappointment today when I picked them up and realized I had spelled our last name wrong. Really?

Thankfully, they’ll let me swap them out. I love you Costco. Thank you for saving Christmas.)

Christmas on Purpose

2011-12-04T22:02:00.001-08:00

Hello. Me again. Here I am, day after day for the last 10 days blabbing on and on about Christmas.

As you can see I’m having fun. I really am.

Thank you for coming back, and if you’re here for the first time then welcome! I’m really glad you’re here. And I just have to say that I’ve enjoyed taking this intentional look at Christmas. It’s caused me to really think about why we do what we do as a family this season, and it’s gotten my heart in a good place too.

Today I’m thinking about traditions. I’m wondering where they came from, why we do them, and how to build in meaningful ones. Our family has come up with a few special traditions over the years. Some involve food and some involve what we do. And I can honestly say that I have no idea why we do some of the things we do. But we do them, and they are special.

I can remember having little tiny kids and babies and wondering how to build in meaningful traditions from my side of the family and from my husbands. And then somehow along the way we developed traditions. Some came quite by accident. There was the year that we went out to the woods to cut a tree. And it was really cold. And then it started to rain. And then it started to get dark. And I was wearing a little baby in a backpack standing by one certain tree with two little shivery children by my side while Zac scoped out another tree. It was just a bit miserable. By the time we got home the kids were exhausted, and wet and cold too. Zac and I feared mutiny so we put every kids Christmas classic on and played them in a loop while we set the tree up. The kids fell asleep soon after and we decorated the tree in peace and quiet. But a tradition was born. Now, we still go out to the woods to get a tree. But we really check the weather first, and go to a different place that is much closer. But what we always do is put on Charlie Brown Christmas and Rudolf while we decorate. It’s a tradition that endures.

I love traditions because of the sameness to them. And, I’ll be honest, I love tradition because it makes things easy, we always know what we’ll do. What do eat for Christmas morning? Baked French toast, it’s tradition. What's in the stockings Christmas mornings? Socks, it’s a tradition. I love to embrace the tradition of Christmas.

What are some of your Christmas traditions?

Christmas on Purpose: take a little time

2011-12-03T22:14:00.001-08:00

Make time, making time together, taking advantage of the little moments, slowing down.

Tonight we slowed down. We watched Christmas movies. The kids went to bed. And we took some time. Just the two of us. Hot chocolate. Quiet moments. There were other things that needed our attention. Discussions to be had, plans to be made, projects to finish up. But we put those aside, and rested. And drank hot chocolate. It was lovely.

Savoring Christmas means slowing down, taking a bit of time to look at the Christmas tree, and just be. The season zips past, but the slow moment are there. You just have to find them.

I found one tonight, and enjoyed it. I’m grateful for that.

Christmas on Purpose: happy with my Jesus music

2011-12-02T17:30:00.001-08:00

Today it’s gotta be simple…but I think sometimes the most meaningful things can be simple.

We hunted down our tree today, it’s decorated and glowing and the carpet’s been vacuumed. And I am tired. Happy, but tired.

It seems like some Jesus music is just the thing for this kind of moment. I love all kinds of Christmas music, but sometimes White Christmas and Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer just don’t cut it. I need something with substance. And if music can set the mood then I want the mood of my heart to be ready for my king.

So I’ve been listening, some of my favorites today are Offering and O Holy Night. Tomorrow that might be different. But it gets my heart in the right place. The fun music is fun, by it doesn’t matter if my heart is in the wrong place.

What’s your favorite Jesus music?

Christmas on Purpose: take Jesus with you

2011-12-01T20:41:00.001-08:00

You have to go shopping. You have to run errands. You have to go to parties. In all of the running around you can still find purpose and meaning, you really can.

Take Jesus with you as you go. Pray specifically during these occasions. Pray for God to open your eyes to see Jesus in everything. Because he’s there. He came to earth as a baby, grew up to be a man, died on the cross, rose again and went up to heaven. He didn’t do that so that we would be unaware of him, he wants us to notice him. And he longs for us to be aware of his presence.

Sometimes I wonder about how much God is trying to say to me, and how much of that I really notice. When the line at the store takes way too long, is he trying to keep me where I am for a reason? To speak to a certain person who needs his grace, to protect me from an accident on the way home, to line up the schedule of my day with his plans? I’ll never know if I never ask. This season I’m longing to be aware of the places where his spirit is moving, I long to be able to look around and actually notice his presence. To be in a crowded room and notice where he is moving. To hear his still small voice in the bustle of the season. All we have to do is ask for him to open our eyes to see his reality. That’s a challenge I’m willing to embrace, especially in these next few days where my schedule is very full. I want to see him, I want to be aware of him with me. Emmanuel, God with us. God with me. God with you.

Christmas on Purpose: Simple, Easy Gift Ideas for the Kids

2011-11-30T18:32:00.001-08:00

I think twinkle lights make things a little bit magical, don’t you? And once these bad boys were up today I just wanted to sit down with some sort of hot beverage and gaze at them.

But then the kids something something about school and I realized that it’s ballet day and youth group and I needed to get a little bit of work from home work done too.

Poof. Just like that, it goes by. There go all my ideas for the day.

I always think that during the Christmas season every non-Christmasy thing should stop. Appointments should not be made or kept, work should not have to be done, checkbooks shouldn’t have to be balanced (wait, do people still do that? I know I do, by hand, like a grandma-it makes me happy). But life does go on, even during Christmas. Sometimes we have to do the necessary things that aren’t really that fun. But because I long for more Christmas fun, and less normal work during December I usually try to keep things simple. Especially when it comes to gifts. When the kids were little I was typically stumped. What on earth to get these three little wonders who lovingly believe in Santa? And how to do that without going into debt? I was stumped until two years ago when I read somewhere that a mom buys just 4 things for each child: something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read. Genius. So that’s what we do. We keep the gifts simple, and easy and try really hard not to overcomplicate things. We also set a budget at the beginning of the shopping time for each and every single thing we think we’ll need to buy. It keeps us accountable.

We also try really hard to buy classic things, not the current fads. This is tough, but Sarah of Clover Lane always has great ideas. Here’s a few of her ideas to get you going: her family’s favorite toys and their favorite games.

How about you? What are your favorite gift ideas?

Christmas on Purpose: keep the main thing the main thing

2011-11-29T09:24:00.001-08:00

We are just coming back from a wonderful week away with family. There was rich food, riotous, laughter, late nights, shopping, and more. It was wonderful.

(sneak peak of family pics my sister took)

We came home late last night, grateful and happy and ready to be sleeping in our own beds. But this morning reality hit me. It could be a lingering head cold that is clouding my thinking, but I think it’s just mostly the overwhelming urge to do. Make lists, go shopping, finish setting out the Christmas décor, do laundry, etc, etc, etc. In an instant I was snapping at the kids and feeling frazzled.

Thankfully, gracefully, the still small voice of the Lord broke through.

Be happy [in your faith] and rejoice and be glad-hearted continually (always);

Be unceasing in prayer [praying perseveringly];

Thank [God] in everything [no matter what the circumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks], for this is the will of God for you [who are] in Christ Jesus [the Revealer and Mediator of that will].

Be happy, be praying, be thankful-no matter what. No matter the circumstances, drippy noses and to do lists and laundry up to our ears. Give thanks. Be happy. Pray.

That’s all God wants me to do today. And in the gratitude my stresses melt away. And the thankfulness causes me to remember that Jesus did not come so that I could be a basket case over all that I feel like I have to do this season. He didn’t come so my twinkle lights would hang just right. Or so the cookies wouldn’t burn. Or so that I could shop for perfect gifts for everyone on my list.

He came because this world was desperate for a savior, was dying in sin and didn’t even know it. He came to extend grace and mercy and peace. He came because of love.

Today I am challenged to keep the main thing the main thing this Christmas. If it’s decorated just so or not, if the house is clean or not, if the presents are all wrapped super nice, or not. None of that really matters, especially if I focus on those instead of on the life giving gift of my savior. The gift that Jesus brings is what matters, and that is it.

Don’t get overwhelmed, don’t go into a tizzy, today just be happy and pray and be thankful.

Christmas on Purpose: Change

2011-11-28T09:56:00.000-08:00

Keep change on hand for the Salvation Army kettle. My kids love to drop some in, I love to also. Especially when the person ringing the bell is enthusiastic and happy. Because you know they aren’t always that way.

But it’s long been an important thing to have change on hand for the kids, because they always ask and I want them to know the joy of giving too. It’s simple but it’s an easy way to remind my kids that Christmas isn’t about us, but about others. And that not everyone has everything they need, or even want, at Christmas. It’s a way to extend ourselves to others, and a way to share the love of Jesus with others too.

Christmas on Purpose: Keep Christmas Past in the Past

2011-11-27T13:46:00.001-08:00

Let Christmas past stay there. Maybe you’ve had some less than awesome Christmas seasons. Tragedy or loss, sickness or disaster may mark your memories more than joy to the world does. Or maybe you’re just sad and nostalgic for the kind of Christmas you had as a child. There might be a temptation to go there, to wallow in those Christmas pasts. We might go there because it’s comfortable. It’s all we know to live in the past.

But the past is called the past for a reason. It is the Christmas that was. Right now is the Christmas you have. And that is the Christmas that should be enjoyed. Don’t let the past events of Christmas keep you from enjoying the Christmas you have right now. That doesn’t mean we minimize or lessen the loss and sorrow that might have happened. There is real loss and sorrow that rips a soul right open and leaves it bare, like an exposed wound. But healing doesn’t come by agitating the wound. Healing comes by acknowledging it happened and then moving forward to what is ahead.

In the midst of the real loss and real sorrow and the pain and the memories there is hope. There is always hope. It’s hope that appeared to weary shepherds who were working the night shift. Dirty, smelly men who tended sheep. I can hardly imagine that the life of a shepherd was easy; a nomadic wandering life looking after smelly, dumb animals. But on that night so long ago smelly shepherds were the first to receive the greatest message of hope ever given. Christ had come, a savior, one whose very name speaks of God coming to earth. They received a message of hope. That message is the same today as it was way back then. It invites to move forward, to strain towards what is ahead.

Forgetting what is behind and pressing to what is ahead, I press on…. (Philippians 3:13)

Embrace the Christmas that is now, not the Christmas that was.

Christmas on Purpose: Celebrate Advent

2011-11-26T08:29:00.001-08:00

Remember making paper chains? I loved doing that as a child to count down the days until Christmas. As the number of chains dwindled down I grew more and more excited for the day when there would be only one left, one more to go until Christmas morning. The activity I loved so much as a young girl is now one the highlights of Christmas activities I do with my children now. Of course back then the meaning was a bit skewed for me. But now as I grow older I completely understand the meaning behind the advent calendar. And it makes me anticipate the coming of Christmas that much more.

Advent simply means arrival or coming in Latin. It specifically relates the arrival or coming of the Christ. Advent is celebrated in the weeks and days leading up to December 25th. The way to mark or count down the can be done by week, four weeks before Christmas, or by day. At our house we use an Advent calendar that we mark by day, starting December 1st and ending on December 25th.

Why celebrate Advent?

Advent is more than just counting the days until Christmas, it is purposefully marking each day until the coming of the Christ. Many years ago people were anticipating the arrival of the Messiah, they yearned for his coming but they didn’t know when it would be. Now that Christ has arrived we celebrate Advent as a way to commemorate his coming. We are re-enacting the days so long ago when God’s people looked for his arrival on earth.

Advent is really about preparing our hearts for Christ’s arrival, getting ready to accept him into our hearts. It is about making room for him in our hearts and our lives. We do this as a family because we want our kids to realize that Christmas is about more than presents and fun movies and cookies, but it’s about receiving the greatest gift of all. I think we need to have our hearts ready for this, ready to accept his great gift of love and grace and mercy.

Our advent calendar includes a variety of things. Daily we include a little piece of candy, because we all like candy. But we usually include a mix of gifts and activities.

Here are some things we have done:

small sticker books

a special hot chocolate mug (usually picked up second hand, or at a huge discount after Christmas the prior year)

a nutcracker (also picked up at a discount)

small thrift store finds, they’re full of little snow globes or ornaments this time of year

a special Christmas book

Christmas pencils, pens, earrings or other small things found at the dollar store

We also include activities for the day: (these are usually a surprise thing for the kids, the ~~parents~~ “elves” set the schedule each night after the kids go to bed)

Christmas tree hunting

A fancy dinner

Christmas movie night

sledding

shopping for adopt a family

baking treats and sharing with friends and neighbors

ice skating

shopping day

craft day

visiting an assisted living facility

choosing an angel from the angel tree (buying a gift for someone in need)

This is just a sampling of what we do, it doesn’t have to be complicated or fancy or even expensive. It’s more about our hearts and embracing the tradition. It’s one of those things we do as a family, and it’s enjoyed by all of us.

Interested in more? Here a few links to get your going:

http://www.flickr.com/groups/561389@N24/

http://www.craftideas.info/html/advent_calender.html

http://ourhouse.typepad.com/full_circle/2007/12/advent.html

http://www.thecraftycrow.net/2011/11/2011-advent-calendar-ideas.html

http://www.tipjunkie.com/christmas-advent-calendar/

Do you do advent activities with your family?

Christmas on Purpose-Day One: Make a Schedule

2011-11-25T10:13:00.001-08:00

Welcome! I’m so glad that you’ve joined me for Christmas on Purpose! I’m coming off a food coma, and you just might be too. Or maybe you were up at o’dark thirty to shop. Whatever your day after Thanksgiving looks like I’m so glad you’re here.

What is “Christmas on Purpose” all about?

Well, it’s just a little bit of daily inspiration for all of us to keep the main thing the main thing during the Christmas season. We all know it can be crazy busy. We all know we can get stressed. We all know we can take on a bit too much. And in the midst of all that we sometimes forget the reason for Christmas.

I know I can be distracted by all the trappings and glitter and shiny things, and I end up focusing on those more than I focus on the birth of Jesus. And I’ve always said, “Jesus didn’t come as a baby so I could have my own idea of a perfect Christmas.” So Christmas on Purpose is my attempt to remember the meaning of the holiday, and to share 30 days of experiencing Jesus and purpose during the Christmas season.

So today, on day one let’s keep it simple okay?

I’ll just share this quick tip to keep Christmas sane: make a schedule. Get your calendar out and mark all the activities you know you will have, and the ones you know you want to have. Our calendar this year includes a few children’s performances and a Christmas party or two.

But I will also schedule in the fun things, things we aren’t at all obligated to do but really want to do. The things we really enjoy doing. Because I know that sometimes it’s hard to fit in the things we really enjoy if we don’t actually put them on the calendar. Things like ice skating and sledding and baking cookies.

But as I schedule these things I also keep in mind the need to be flexible, there might not be enough snow to sled. Or we just really might not feel like making cookies on the appointed cookie day. And that’s okay. The schedule serves us at Christmas time, we don’t serve it. And that’s how we keep a bit of sanity. And one thing that’s always on my schedule, especially during the holidays? Rest, clear days with nothing scheduled so we can indulge in a Christmas movie marathon, or go out sledding one more time or take an impromptu drive to see Grandma. They’re flex days, and no matter the season those days are needed.

What kind of things are your schedule this season?

snow

2011-11-20T20:36:00.001-08:00

We had our first snow this week. It was surprising and exciting.

I think God knows we need a little something special when he sends us snow. I love the way it slows things down. It’s arrival invites us to linger and play and laugh, then sip hot chocolate and do it all over again.

Snow is like that. It’s irresistible to the kid and the kid at heart.

And so we played. Well, they played more than I did. But they did play, all day long. And then the next day I enjoyed a nice run through the snow spotted trails. We all enjoyed the lovely white gift of snow.

Snow feels like magic. We missed the first snow of the year last year because we were out of town. I was feeling bittersweet about leaving home for Thanksgiving this year simply because I did not want to miss that first magical snowfall. It was right on time for us this year, God is pretty cool like that.

I think it’s been all played out as it slowly melted away yesterday and today.

But the coming of the first snowfall marks the beginning of a wonderful winter, filled with holidays and evenings by the fire and cozy blankets with hot chocolate. And I’m so thankful for all of those things.

I’m thankful for well used snow too. At our house it doesn’t lay all pretty and smooth like in some other yards. Every bit is used and reused until it all melts away. I like it so much because it reminds me of the very excited kids who will gladly postpone lessons and everything else to go out and play. If I’m delighted that much by my kids enjoying God’s creation, how much more delighted is God when we enjoy what he’s created just for us?

I think it makes him pretty pleased, don’t you?

time

2011-11-16T21:56:00.001-08:00

Today I am grateful for the gift of time. I was supposed to be gone overnight tonight but the weather changed my plans. At first I was a bit bummed about it. I mean, who doesn’t want a night away every once in a while, and with it the opportunity to be with some fabulous ladies and eat breakfast without a child hovering inches from your face? It can’t just be me.

But after a moment of saying, “oh man, that kind of sucks” I started feeling like I had just been given an extra day. Who doesn’t want just one more day, at least every once in a while?

I’m grateful for the gift of time; extra time to be with the people I love, extra time to fluff up the house for Christmas, extra time to get my ducks in a row before Thanksgiving. What started out as a disappointment has turned into quite a wonderful little gift. I just had to shift my perspective and roll with it.

So as the wind of an incoming storm batters the house I’m grateful that I’m here to enjoy it. I’m grateful that my kids are tucked away in bed and cozy. I’m grateful to hear the rumble of the truck as my husband pulls into the drive. And grateful for the possibilities of an extra day tomorrow. It makes me think I should be very careful not to waste it. And then it makes me think that we should all be very careful not to waste the gift of each day, every single day we have is special but so often we get lost in the mundane things. We forget to revel in what lies before us, life should be enjoyed.

So I am going to enjoy my Thursday. And I’ll leave with a bit of Christmas inspirations, via flickr, via pinterest. Isn’t it pretty?

Christmas on Purpose

2011-11-15T21:32:00.001-08:00

A while back a whole bunch of bloggers got together and devoted the month of October to blogging daily about a particular subject. There was 31 days of Lovely Limitations, 31 day of Real, 31 days of Gratitude, 31 days to a better picture, and 31 days inspired for the holidays-plus a whole lot more. I thought it would be fun to join in, but I really couldn’t even think of what I could possibly say for 31 days straight.

So I decided to blog for 30 days straight. One less day makes all the difference.

Christmas can be stressful, we all know that. There is always much to do, much to spend, much on the calendar. It all seems like a little too much, doesn’t it? I got to wondering about what would happen if I was intentional about injecting meaning and purpose into all of my December activities, the sacred and the silly. I thought about how I could find meaning in this busy season, and I came up with an idea. 30 days to Christmas on purpose, 30 days to finding meaning throughout the Christmas season. This is mostly for me because I don’t want to get to Christmas morning wondering how I got there so fast, and wondering why I didn’t stop to savor the season more.

So beginning on November 25th I will be posting every day. Yes, every single day, until Christmas eve. That will be 30 days of ideas and prayers and tips to putting more meaning into our Christmas season. Some will be simple, some will be profound, some will be silly. They will most likely be short, because you and I both know that time is usually of the essence come December. But my prayer is that these reminders for you, and for me, will be encouraging and helpful and point us all back to the true meaning of Christmas.

Sound good? I’d love for you to join me for 30 days of doing Christmas on purpose.

And if that’s not enough, Nancy over at the Goat and the Kid is hosting some awesome blogging fun too!

Christmas is for parties, and fun and inspiration. So mark your calendars….it’s gonna be a blast!

laundry confessions

2011-11-14T10:05:00.001-08:00

why do I hate this job so much, when it only takes 6 minutes?

Really, it isn’t that hard, right?

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Happy Monday friends!

Over here we are practicing gratitude, going through Christmas decorations, and catching up on mountains of laundry.

I’m feeling grateful for the snow in this weeks forecast, good gluten free products (and all your great tips last post), happy children who say “OK” when asked to do things, and a day home to play catch up.

Hope your week is off to a great start too!

good bye

2011-11-08T22:04:00.001-08:00

Dearest Gluten,

It gives me great pain to write you this letter, but it must be done. We have had a good run you and I. Thirty three years of baked, floury goodness-we have a long history indeed. But it is with deep regret and sorrow that I am breaking up with you. It seems that my body and your gluteny goodness are no longer a compatible pair. This is very hard, and I can honestly say that you will be greatly missed. You have been with me for a long, long time. You have faithfully been there for yummy birthday cakes, comforting cookies, delicious sandwiches, and the traditional Thanksgiving stuffing that I have eaten every year of my life. But those will be no more. I am trying to look at this as a new chapter in life, one in which I get to experiment with new flavors and new flours to fill the large void you have left. I can easily say that I will miss you. However I will not miss the discomfort you seem to be causing me, the vertigo and dizzy spells and lingering brain fog that has been hovering over me. If eliminating you eliminates these things then I know it will be worth it.

My life will be different without you, but I believe that it will be for the better. Although I will miss you and apple pie as I know it, I know that there are other good and yummy things on the horizon.

Goodbye,

Gina

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The gluten free adventures are beginning around here, and yes I know writing a letter may be a bit over dramatic. But it felt good to get it out. I kind of wish I had an old school typewriter to do it on, pounding on that keyboard is a lot more effective for dealing with emotions.

It is different and probably won’t always be easy, but I know this is going to be good. I’m looking forward to learning new recipes and experimenting with new flours. Eating out may just be tricky, but I’m okay with that. And if I eat out less, I’ll be saving money, right?

I figure I can be one of two ways about this. I can complain and pout and carry on, or I can accept where I am right now and joyfully embrace this new adventure. And honestly? If doing this helps those pesky Meniere's symptoms then it’s totally okay with me. And after a particularly rough go of it the last few weeks I am happy to report that now, without gluten, I have a clear head that feels like it’s correctly attached to my neck, which means I can teach lessons to my kids without having to lay my head on the desk. That’s got to be worth something, right?

So in honor of my new independence from flour, I baked bread today. Gluten free. Multi-grain. Yummy. And then I ate a sandwich, which I haven’t done in quite some time. It almost felt naughty, but it wasn’t. It was good.

And that is all I have to say about that. I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer about gluten and food and making everything about that, cause no one wants to hear about how I can’t eat this or that.

But I’d sure appreciate it if you happened to know of any good gluten free recipes.

taking back Thanksgiving

2011-11-04T09:04:00.001-07:00

I’m thinking about starting a campaign.

No, I am not running for office.

It’s kind of a grass roots effort, it’ll probably start with a small minority.

I won’t be occupying anything, except my own home. But, I will be working to make a change. At least within my four walls.

I think Christmas is wonderful. The heart of the season is amazing and beyond compare. But the commercialism of the season is a bit too much. When Christmas displays start appearing in October or even September I shudder. I shudder not because I’m a grinch but because of a society that glosses over a heart of thankfulness and pushes straight to a heart of consumerism. Buying this and that, making wish lists and feeling a need to purchase the latest Christmas decorations all take our focus from what really matters.

But how can we truly embrace the heart of Christmas if we haven’t stilled our hearts long enough to embrace a season of thankfulness? To mark our days with gratitude and quiet contemplation of all that we have been blessed with. And what if we spend an entire month focusing on a thankful heart? Wouldn’t our hearts be like fertile soil, ready to accept the greatest gift of all?

This month I want to be intentional about gratitude. Yes, I will be preparing for Christmas. What busy mom isn't? But I will shift the focus of my heart. I will focus on who I need to say thank you to and what I need to say thank you for.

Are you interested in joining me? Here are a few things we’re doing around our house to foster gratitude:

study gratitude, what the word means and how we can act it out

write thank you notes and letters of appreciation to family, neighbors, friends

make a thankful tree, a simple construction paper tree that we’ve taped to the fridge. each day we all add a leaf with what we are thankful for on it

read Thank you, Sarah (the woman who saved Thanksgiving). We found it at the library, it’s a wonderful story about a woman who really did save Thanksgiving. It gives the history of the holiday and is full of delightful drawings. I cried each time I read it, because it’s that cool of a story

It’s not too difficult to incorporate feelings of gratitude into your regular routine. The result is what Madame Blueberry of Veggie Tale fame sang of, “a thankful heart is a happy heart.” It is so true.

So today I want to say thank you to you. All of you who read and comment here. I appreciate that you show up and I treasure your comments. What started out as an effort to keep family up to date on our lives has turned into much more. Thank you for joining me on the journey.

I'm linking up with Heather today for some lovely inspiration.

goat heads and throat coat and a few other things

2011-10-31T21:45:00.001-07:00

There are a few things happening around the house lately.

Things are looking up these days. There’s less dizziness and less vertigo and the brain fog that characterizes my mean Meniere's has evaporated. That alone is making these days good.

Also, there are goat heads. These are something new to me, something I never encountered until we moved here. They’re little sharp barbs that turn up on the trails; they deflate bike tires, stick in the soles of your shoes and hurt really bad if they happen to get tracked into the house and then stepped on barefoot. And I’m guessing they must be seasonal, because all of a sudden we are stopping several times on our regular runs so one little doggie can pull them out of his paws. Ouch.

(can you feel his pain? pathetic isn’t it?)

Then there’s tea. Tea is just one of my favorite cold weather things, especially throat coat tea. I might just be the only person who drinks it even when they’re not sick. I love the taste of it, all the time and anytime. And now that the weather is colder I usually have a cup close by.

And then it’s nearly November. It seems crazy how quickly the seasons go by. Wasn’t it just spring break? I am looking forward and planning for the Christmas season, but also I’m feeling really sorry for Thanksgiving. It seems like it’s getting brushed aside more and more. But it’s still important. Taking time for thankfulness and gratitude is kind of a big deal, don’t you think? And I have to be honest and admit that I’m already itching to get out our Christmas decorations. But I don’t want to miss November. I don’t want to miss the coziness of it, the slowing down before the holiday rush, and the gratitude that should mark our days all month long. So even though I might just be (slowly) taking out Christmas, I’ll be purposefully adding in gratitude. It shouldn’t be pushed aside.

So here’s to a grateful November, one in which I pause to say thank you and to be full of thanks for all the wonderful things I have. Not to be bossy or anything, but I think you should too. It’s good for the soul.

perspective

2011-10-29T21:44:00.001-07:00

I was griping to myself the other day. I can’t really remember what it was about, something trivial and petty I’m sure. I happened to be driving somewhere at the time. I don’t remember where. Probably somewhere silly that I drive to all the time, like the grocery store (the place they all know me and the kids by name.)

As I was going along I passed a neighbor I had recently met through another neighbor. She has a few young daughters, the cutest little gals (well, other than mine you know-I am biased and not ashamed to admit it.) But this mom, the one with the two cute daughters has recently lost her husband. He was killed in an accident. And now she’s a single mom, doing the job of two parents all by herself.

Instantly my griping seemed ridiculous. Whatever I was frustrated about melted away and I found myself so grateful for where I am right now in life. I have an amazing husband. He’s a hands on guy who helps out, parents the kids, is present and with us. And although sometimes life seems hard and stressful, I have very little that is really worth complaining about. (And usually what I am complaining about has come about because of my own self, messing things up.)

I said a prayer for this mom and her girls and have been wondering ever since what else I can do for them. And I’ve been looking at my husband with great thankfulness.

My perspective shifted that day. I have a lot. It is all a gift. And in it all I see evidence of the Divine Creator placing everything in my life just so, according to his plan. Not mine. It causes me to overflow with gratitude.

5 minute Friday: relevant

2011-10-28T08:23:00.001-07:00

the struggle to be relevant in this crazy world is a tough one. it’s trying, it’s difficult. presenting yourself as one who is relevant, one who can be accessible is a fine goal. the actions of it are tough. relevant is being real, presenting something that applies to others. a relevant gospel is what I preach, it is what I believe in. but the actual carrying out of this gospel is tough, how do I make it relevant to those who don’t believe they need it? how do I make it relevant to my children? is it accessible? is the love of Christ obvious in me, in the way I live and love and go about my daily life? I long for Jesus to be relevant in me, to display himself in such a way that others can obviously see him and then want to know him. and when it comes down to it, I realize that is purely a work of the Holy Spirit. the Holy Spirit working in me, transforming me and shining through me to others. I cannot, cannot, cannot do this life on my own. and I cannot be Jesus to others without the help of Jesus. any attempts on my own will fail and flop. as I plan and pray for things concerning our church, concerning my family, concerning my own little personal life, I am desperate for Jesus to take over and make all that I do count for him. to make him relevant to others through what I do. it is my heart, it is my cry, it is my longing. being relevant-holding tight to him is the key to this.

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I’m taking part today, for the first time in five minute Friday. It is a writing prompt and five minutes of writing, no edits, no changing-just writing. I’m doing this because I enjoy it, and it reminds me of the things I loved about English classes, without all those pesky tests.

decorated pumpkins

2011-10-26T14:52:00.001-07:00

Around here we don’t carve pumpkins, but we do embellish them. Empty brass from the shooting range, and an odd assortment of do-dads from the garage make for some happy pumpkins.

It made for happy children and happy parents too.

I added some printouts from the graphics fairy to the “mantel” and some some spider web stuff and declared it good. We don’t get too crazy around here for halloween, we save our crazy for Christmas.

And anyway, we’re too busy enjoying the last of the nice weather outside.

I’m sure we’ll figure out costumes eventually, but for now we are playing in those leaves while they stick around.

Hope you’re all having a great and finding some fun, whatever you’re up to!

we thought about going to the pumpkin patch….

2011-10-23T21:28:00.001-07:00

but we ended up here instead.

Well first we went on a hike, and then we stopped here on the way home. Ever since we moved here, four and a half years ago I’ve wanted to stop and take pictures here. In every season it is beautiful. Every season.

On this particular day the light was perfect, golden and happy…just looking at the pictures makes me feel warm inside.

My little people were even cooperative, and they look so big….when did that happen?

They used to be much, much smaller.

But I adore where they are now, even though I will always miss those little babies that they were.

I’ve heard it said before, the days are long but the years are short. It’s so true. Sad, but true.

In a blink, they are nearly as tall as their mom. (That’s not saying much for this mom, but you know how they grow…like weeds I tell you, like weeds.)

We might not make it to the pumpkin patch, but that’s okay. We sure had fun. And Fred Meyer has a pretty good supply of pumpkins these days. :)

happy things

2011-10-14T20:37:00.001-07:00

This wall in the alley by our church, and the prospect of taking pictures of the kids here. I see them sitting on that window sill eating ice cream cones or something. Or pushing each other off, hmmm…..might need to rethink this one.

Tomatoes from the garden ripening in the sun, just waiting to made into roasted tomato soup.

An art project kind of day.

I moved the furniture around and then discovered that I could take this console table from upstairs and stick it here behind the couch. Now I have a way to keep my kids from launching themselves over the couch and a place to stack some blankets. Win-win.

A green pumpkin with a curly-cue stem.

This girl.

Creativity, making a super long straw out of smaller ones taped together. (the verdict: she couldn’t take a deep enough breath to suck up any water, but A for effort!)

Three monkeys who made a fort out of pillows and then destroyed it in the process of wrestling with each other.

A new hat.

And a weekend, which we all know is a blessed thing. And despite almost constant dizziness it has been a good week, full of happy in the midst of it all. Sometimes happy is elusive, but if you look hard enough you can find it. It’s always there, waiting to be discovered. And you know what? That happy stuff always leads to a load of gratitude.

And with that, discover some happy this weekend! And then take it’s picture because if your anything like me, you might not remember it until you look through your uploaded photos. Just saying.

the day I almost lost it in Fred Meyer

2011-10-12T15:44:00.001-07:00

Hello, it’s me.

Yes, me. The one that nearly had a break down in the middle of Fred Meyer today. Yep, right there in the store.

It happened in between housewares and halloween when I discovered the fresh floral department was missing. I had drug myself and the kids there to grab some flowers for a science project. We loaded the cart with a few other things and then it all came crashing down. The spot was empty. No flowers. No greens. No balloons. Nothing but a big empty space.

It’s kind of how I feel right now. Empty.

As I fought back tears (seriously, over flowers) I looked over and found the floral department relocated. Crisis averted and bottom lip sucked back in, we carried on.

But the emptiness remained.

All I could think of when I drove home was that God’s grace is sufficient for me, his power is made perfect in my weakness. My weakness seems so large today, but I know what God can do is bigger. My particular weakness happens to have a name. It’s Meniere's disease. It’s usually not an issue, most days I am just fine. But today is not like most days and I am at the end of myself. At the end of my resources, at the end of my emotions, at the end of my strength. Your weakness might be different, but if you’re human you know it’s there. We’ve all reached the place where we are at the end of ourselves.

And that’s where God shows up. When I’ve got nothing. When I’m feeling worn out and as dry as an old sponge. I have nothing to offer but empty hands and a prayer. A prayer for a change of attitude, a prayer for a positive view on things, a prayer for strength to do the job he has set before me.

He answers the cries of an aching heart. He knows the limitations that I carry and he knows he is best glorified when he works through those limitations and reveals himself in spite of them. I don’t really welcome the weakness, but I sort of do because I know it is an opportunity for his power to be displayed.

So even now, at the end of myself and on the verge of tears I ask for his strength. Renewal will come and someday this old crazy body will be made new on the other side of glory. Until then I rely on God’s strength to reveal itself in my surrendered weakness.

It’s a marvelous thing to behold, like the sun peaking over the horizon. Something lovely for sure. I woke up with this song in my head, except I was remembering the words as “something lovely” not holy. But I think I needed the reminder. Even in my mess, he wants to do something lovely in my life. And that is lovely thing.

feeling like fall

2011-10-10T16:06:00.001-07:00

An old pallet with a wreath, propped into a rusty wagon and filled with garden castoffs (plus a few fake pumpkins) make the front entry say fall. This is a use what you have kind of thing, the wreath I threw together last year, the pallets were leftovers from another project, and the wagon has been sitting around here forever. It took five minutes to throw it all together. I call that lovely.

I like how it turned out.

I also like that the weather is wet and blustery, with breaks in the clouds every now and then.

I like that I found a recipe for a homemade pumpkin spice latte and coconut whipped cream, all dairy free for those of us who are dairy challenged. It’s good, real good.

I love this time of year. I love pumpkin products and I love soup and baking, and all those things marry wonderfully in October. And in the midst of a day that didn’t really go like I had intended I’m finding a moment to be grateful, it’s the day I’ve been given and that makes it a gift. I’m choosing to be content with that, with a quiet day at home and some pumpkin bread in the oven.

I’m not even trying to hold it together anymore……

2011-10-06T12:09:00.001-07:00

Life has taken over around here. In the midst of busy and hectic and schedules that seem out of whack I am finding myself off balance. I’ve even developed a nasty eye twitch. Seriously, I’m finding myself stressed over all the little things that seem to be piling up.

So the other day I did what I normally do when I’m feeling like I’m ready to be crushed by the ever pressing tide called life. I took out the camera. I prayed too, that’s a foolproof stress reliever. And since I’ve been an epic failure at actually taking pictures of my family lately I killed two birds with one stone.

The perspective gained from looking through the lens slowed me down. I found myself appreciating more and worrying less.

And I remembered that I have so much to be thankful for. Even in out of focus self timer shots.

And at the end of a long day of homeschooling and chores and checkbooks and bills I found laughter in the form of fake mustaches.

It’s good to loosen up a bit.

It’s even better to reflect on all that you have and all that you got to do, not what you haven’t gotten around to.

I know I need to go back to God ordering my to do lists, and allow him to set the agenda for my days. I also need to be less of a stress case, and that I can only do with God’s help. I think sometimes it’s easy to gloss over stuff, pretend that life is easy and I’ve got it all together. The truth is that sometimes, at least lately, I feel like I’m barely holding it together. And then I’m reminded that I’m not supposed to be the one holding it all together. I think this has been a theme for me this year, learning how to find rest in the midst of an unrestful life and learning to allow God to hold it together for me. Surrender is required for that, because you can’t have someone hold something for you unless you’re willing to hand it over first.

Today I’m handing it over. Again. I know he can make my mess beautiful.

wiww, one outfit wonder

2011-10-05T07:37:00.001-07:00

I’m linking up with Lindsay for more fashion inspiration this week!

jeans: old navy, thrifted

top: super old, target

necklace: f21

shoes: ? thrifted. I love these shoes, but find them so very impractical for my real life. I think running and tall shoes don’t mix. It kills me, but I can really only last about 10 minutes in these. boo

Once again I am a one outfit wonder, but this week’s challenge is to actually take pictures of the outfits you wore. So, ahem…I will try. I have been getting dressed, every day. And it’s not just in yoga or running clothes. I love having What I Wore Wednesday because it has challenged me to actually get dressed, and think about my appearance. And that has really affected my days. When I get dressed and put some thought into how I look I feel like I’m more efficient, ready to take on whatever the day holds. And when I’m wearing shoes, even just in the house I feel like I could accomplish almost anything. Really. I know it sounds silly but it’s true. So maybe, just maybe I’ll have some more pictures next week. And a side note here, yes I do feel really silly when I take pictures of myself. I can’t get over that. I feel vain and self centered. But that’s not why I post things here, it’s not about me. Well, it is kind of about me. But more than that I feel like it’s passing encouragement along. Cuz if getting dressed affects my day so much, it just might be the same for you?

So what about you, do you feel like you could be super mom if you’re wearing your shoes? Or maybe that’s just me?

falling

2011-09-29T20:44:00.001-07:00

All I have to say is, “Really?” I ask for half an hour to do yoga and this is what I get. At least it came along with laughter.

I fell numerous times during these escapades. But every single time, I got back up. Every single time.

We all fall down from time to time. Sometimes it’s of our own doing, sometimes it’s because others knock us, and sometimes it’s simply because life has squeezed in a bit too tight. In a busy season, where times of sleep and refreshment feel few too few and far between it seems that falling down comes much to easily. My equilibrium isn’t what it should be in those times, and inevitability I fall.

There she goes. Down. And down again.

Falling reminds me that I cannot be in charge of my own life. At best, I fumble through, at worst I fail miserably and derail what God wants to do in and through me. And I am reminded that falling is okay, but staying down is not.

I am human. I am a fragile vessel who attempts to do too much and tries to get by on too little sleep. Perhaps I might burn the candle at both ends from time to time. And then I fall.

I lose my temper, I wallow in sadness, I am sour with a bad attitude. That is me, staying down.

But then I make a choice. I ask for help. It might only come out in a whisper, but the answer I receive is unmistakable and cannot be missed. He gives strength to the weary and rest to the weak. He daily bears my burdens. His yoke is easy and his burden is light. And in those promises I can stand tall, I can stand firm.

For me sure footedness is not always easy to come by, but I am reminded that in my weakness God’s power is displayed. That is, if I let it. I do so by admitting defeat. I cannot, I cannot do this life on my own. My own strength is too small to make it. I need His strength, God’s strength in me.

He gives strength to the weary, rest t the weak, and grace for all us when we fall down.

wiww, fall…finally

2011-09-28T08:17:00.001-07:00

I’m linking up with Lindsay for some fashion inspiration this week, and I’m so glad it’s finally fall!

I had my first pumpkin spice latte of the season.

And I wore long sleeves and boots, at the same time.

It’s official, right?

I have one measly outfit for you this week, but I love it! I loved wearing it. And I love me some new boots. Bonus, the outfit made my husband say, “Wow". In a good way.

denim top and skirt: forever 21

orange tank: target

boots: payless, love!

One of my favorite things about fall is pulling out sweaters and jeans and boots. Oh, I do love boots! I don’t think I’d want to go without them this time of year.

What’s your must have item for fall?

insta Friday

2011-09-23T08:51:00.000-07:00

Have you ever heard of insta-Friday? It's a special place to share all your instant/cell phone pics from the week. Everyone's doing it. Well, at least a bunch of people are. I think it's fun, and I love having a phone on my camera to capture little bits of life that I might not necessarily get with my big ol bulky camera. It seems like life less posed, more real.

This week the kids and I tagged along with Zac as he attended some meetings. Two days away, hotel pool, shopping? Yes please.

We didn't see much of Zac, but sure had a great time.

Hanging out at PF Changs. Yum. We don't have one near us, so this is a total treat.

Wishful shopping.

Movie watching in the hotel bed, such a treat to stay up late and watch the Phineas and Ferb movie. I'm sure other adults enjoy Phineas and Ferb as much as I do, right? They crack me up.

Lots of pool time.

Levi picked up some spy glasses, with little mirrors on the side so you can see behind you. They really do work, he loves them and enjoys being mysterious when he wears them.

On the road, sacked out and blurry because we were laughing so hard about how it looked like she fell asleep while doing the robot.

And that was the week, it was so very fun. We came home, cleaned up and did laundry and now I'm off to ladies retreat this weekend! It's gonna be good, so good.

What have you been up to this week?

Linking up with Life Rearranged

bits and pieces

2011-09-16T08:15:00.000-07:00

This week I tried passion tea/lemonade, thanks for the reminder Leslie. It was good and refreshing on a hot, sticky day.

This week I ate a desert that made me cry, seriously. It was peach cobbler and it tasted just like my grandma’s. It made me miss her. That night I dreamed about her and woke up sad. Funny thing when someone you love passes on, it seems as if they’re always still around. And sometimes the missing comes on fresh and strong.

This week we found an ice cream blender at a junk shop. Woa boy, it’s dangerous. Good, but dangerous.

There’s been laundry on the line.

There’s been messes on the floor.

And there’s been a little girl who insists on jammies all. day. long.

And yesterday I got to sit down with a cup of coffee and read the latest Country Living, in a quiet house. Well, quiet for half an hour. I’m not lying when I say it was nice. Really nice.

This week we have tons of ripe tomatoes from the garden. And so we are eating tons of bruschetta. Yum.

The dog is always waiting for a handout, of bruschetta or something else.

And that’s been the week, with a good dose of schooling and housework mixed in.

And this weekend?

We have a clear schedule. That’s right, nowhere we have to go or have to be. I’m thinking it’ll be really nice.

What kind of plans do you have this weekend? Are you like me and think a clear schedule is the best gift ever?

sort of fall

2011-09-15T20:59:00.000-07:00

Okay, it’s subtle.

That is fall around here. I puttered around today and put some orange things on display and a special mister muscle man. I really just needed to dust, but you know how one thing leads to another.

I used to get really carried away with fall decorating. But anymore I like to keep it simple and not too over the top. I'm thinking it's just because that's where I am in life right now. We homeschool three kids, that's all there is to it. My husband used to say it looked like fall exploded in here. And judging by the amount of pumpkins and leaves and things crammed into the bins in the garage I think he was right.

But now it’s simple touches. Like a baby pumpkin.

And freshly dusted shelves, rearranged. The top shelf holds our special Uganda treasures, well the milk can is a Target treasure but the other items came straight from Uganda. We’ve never been there, yet. But Uganda and the little gal in the picture hold a special place in our hearts.

Of course, with fall comes a chance to put your feet up with a fresh cup and new magazine.

Yes, it's subtle but it's there.

Linking up with Melissa @ The Inspired Room.

the school day

2011-09-13T13:14:00.000-07:00

The school day starts early. Way early.

For me at least.

Up at 5:30 if I’m running, then I can sneak out for a bit of quiet time before the chaos takes over.

Thankfully at this point our amazingly handsome principal/substitute teacher helps out breakfast and morning chores.

Then it’s up to the school room for lessons.

We are putting it all together, and our school days seem to have taken on a routine and a rhythm and for now (fingers crossed) we seemed to have landed on a schedule that works.

And yes, in case you were wondering you can indeed wear your feetie pajamies to school around here.

And I guess when you’re in kindergarten then it’s perfectly acceptable to wear those pj’s all day long. Even when it’s 95 outside.

But onto the school day…..

I have one in Kindergarten, here’s the school work she does:

Handwriting Without Tears
The Ordinary Parent’s Guide to Teaching Reading plus lots of Bob books
Right Start Math level A, if she’s interested (I love right start math, but I’ve noticed that levels A and B are pretty repetitive, and since she knows her basics I think she’ll do just fine jumping in at level B for 1st grade)
workbooks to keep her busy, plus lap books and file folder games

My First Grader:

Handwriting Without Tears (cursive) / Scripture Copy work
Right Start Math, Level B
Abeka Spelling
First Language Lessons for the Well Trained Mind, Level 1
Writing with Ease 1

Third Grade:

Handwriting without Tears (cursive) / Scripture copy work
First Language Lessons for the Well Trained Mind, Level 3
Writing with Ease 2
Abeka Spelling
Right Start Math, Level C

Both my Third Grader and First Grader are reading Stuart Little independently, I quiz them for comprehension once they finish a few chapters.

Both of them also read other chapter books like crazy, I let them pick whatever sparks their interest at the library.

For history we are on The Story of the World, Volume 3 and for science we are using Apologia’s Exploring Creation with Botany.

And this is how it all goes down:

	Kindergarten	First Grade	Third Grade
8:30-9:00	reading	handwriting	handwriting
9:00-10	workbook, handwriting	grammar, writing w/ease, spelling (independent reading as time allows)	grammar, writing w/ease (independent reading as time allows)
10:00-10:15	snack break
10:15-11:00	reading with 1st grader	math	math, spelling
11:00-11:30	recess-outside
11:30-12:300	Wednesday and Friday: History all together	Tues and Thurs: Science all together

Some random thoughts on the whole thing:

Most of the time I do a chunk of work with one student and then excuse him or her to his or her room for a bit, just so we can keep it quiet for the ones still working.

I’ve learned that some days one subject can take a very long time.

That recess and snack time are invaluable to making it through the day, even though I always want to skip recess so we can keep going and get it done.

We get lots and lots and lots of library books for silent reading.

I used to feel like I was short changing my kids by sticking to the basics and not adding in extra things, but then I realized we were spontaneously doing the extras. Things like baking and craft projects, grocery shopping and housework all provide for unstructured learning. And they're usually learning life skills which are pretty important given our goal as parents is to produce independent adults. And it really comes down to me learning that we function much better by doing less, I’d rather do less and do it really well than try to cram a bunch in and do it poorly. I learned last year that the more I tried to do the crazier I felt, and as a result so did my students. Less is totally more for my kids right now.

And then after school we move on to lunch and if we’re home down time. We read or play games, but usually they just entertain themselves. Sometimes by doing yoga. Yoga meltdown by Jillian Michaels is our first choice, and unfortunately it's the reason my five year knows the term “bad ass.” Also unfortunately she looks pretty cute when saying it, so might not get always get disciplined when she says it. I know I will regret my lack of attention to this at some point.

Sometimes we go to the library.

Sometimes I get a bit of quiet time.

Then we rush off to dinner and family time and thank God we made it, bedtime.

And that’s the day.

Tuesday-Friday, take a 3 day break (hallelujah!) and then repeat.

I’d say we’ve got a good system.

tired

2011-09-09T08:01:00.001-07:00

Some days are tiring. Wearisome. Long. Exhausting.

Some days I feel like I don’t have the energy it takes to make it through the days. Those are the days when an afternoon nap seems like the only way I can make it, and where an afternoon nap seems the most impossible.

Those days remind me that I cannot do life on my own. They point out my need for margins, times in my life that are unplanned and unstructured where I can fit in downtime and resting. They expose my weakness and my unending need for something bigger than myself.

When those days come I have two choices. I can push through, just make it till bedtime where I collapse exhausted in bed. I can do this on my own gumption and perhaps a bit of help from Starbucks. But that’s not really living is it? It’s making it for sure, but it’s not the abundant life that has been promised to me by God.

The better choice is to surrender, to realize that I can’t make it and I desperately need help. I cry out to the one who has promised rest to me.

“I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.” Jeremiah 31:25

Even if physical rest is impossible, spiritual rest is available. And that is better by far. I’m needing that this week (I’m also needing an earlier bedtime, that will help too). The rigors of homeschooling are setting in, and the flip in my schedule has made me tired. It’s reminded me that I need to have time set aside for rest, and most importantly that I need to turn to the rest giver. Often. Repeatedly. He never fails to provide what we need.

homeschooling and bribery

2011-09-07T13:53:00.001-07:00

Yes, they do go together. At least they do around here.

Sometimes some of my students suffer from a lack of motivation, and to be perfectly honest this teacher feels the same way from time to time. How to get us all on the same page when it comes to getting our school work done? Bribery, or special motivators go a long way. First off, let’s all get over the fact that it’s terrible to bribe your children to do what you want them to do. Do most honest, hardworking people get paid for a job well done? Have you ever received bonus pay or commissions for going above and beyond your normal work duties? Seems like a grown up form of bribery to me, don’t you think? I know we need to do some things just because in life, even though there is no reward. But I think those things are on a different level than practicing handwriting or doing times tables.

So on to what works for us, we have a star system going right now. I had each child pick up a few inexpensive items at Target, lip gloss for the girls and little legos for the boy. Then I packed those goodies away. The kids will get their goodies only when they have earned the required number of stars. They get stars by being on time for school, being kind and respectful, etc. It’s been working wonders around here, and it’s a great motivator to get them into their assigned places on time. At the end of the month the student with the most stars will get a ten dollar gift card. We haven’t actually used this particular tactic yet, I’ll have to let you know what I think of it when only one is a winner. It might backfire on us, but it might also turn out to be a pretty good motivator.

I get questions on how to motivate kids to participate and want to do school. The thing is that we can’t really make them want to, but we can work to make it more fun or rewarding for them. (And then we just get to pray for willing hearts, I’m doing that a lot these days.) Right now bribery is what works for us. And every once in a while I listen when they say they don’t want to do school, if there is a valid reason for it then we can work together to find a solution. When they were preschool aged and they told me they didn’t want to do lessons I wouldn’t, not because I’m a pushover but because they were so young. And I figured that if I was going to be committed to this whole homeschooling thing then I knew that I was going to be in it for the long haul. And there’s only one time in your life when finger painting, library trips, and baking days count as school. At that age play is their work, and learning is done through play.

All of that aside, yes we are totally bribing them. And then sometimes we fine them (yes, we take their money away!) when they are not doing what they should be doing, or we let the natural consequences of their attitudes and actions speak for themselves. Just yesterday our son missed lunch with his dad and the opportunity to look at toys at Wal-Mart because he took too long to finish up his work. I think he learned, hopefully.

That is our system, but it is subject to change. The best motivating tools are new ones, so I am sure we will switch up rewards as the year goes along.

And my reward?

What can I say? I’m a simple girl, and a pumpkin spice latte at then end of a long week is a pretty sweet reward!

hello Monday

2011-09-05T20:40:00.000-07:00

hello sleeping in

hello big fat breakfast

hello pillow fort

hello sonic happy hour

hello wishes for a great new week!

we're all geared up for our second week of school....and one child is already saying that he doesn't want to do school tomorrow. grrr. we're praying for a positive attitude and a willing heart this week. maybe you're in the same boat as your kids head back to school, I guess adjusting to a new routine isn't always easy-even when it's good for you. we are excited to get back to ballet this week, and one little boy just might be starting karate. bad attitudes aside, I know it's going to be a good week!

hope you all have a great week too!

fall (yes, I'm going there) weekends

2011-09-03T15:28:00.000-07:00

a typical fall Saturday includes a bit of crochet, some time running, a bit of laziness, some baking, some resting, and of course....college football

that all makes me one happy girl.

I think starting school this week has made the weekend a little bit sweeter, I'm sure that college football has something to do with it too. I think it all comes down to getting back into the routine, times of resting balanced by school work and house work all with a good dose of predictability make this mom happy.

Although I'm still good with summer weather I am so ready for fall, and The Office and Modern Family. Throw in some Duck games and we've got it made.

I like fall weekends, I like the routine of fall, and just for fun I love this picture.

to all the grandmas out there: we were in our neighborhood, going all of maybe 2 miles per hour, down the street.....I have fond memories of doing the same thing with my dad, except we were out on the road and probably going a bit faster. And I turned out just fine, mostly :)

what are you up to this weekend?

what we wore–wedding edition

2011-08-31T11:32:00.001-07:00

This week was a fun one, mostly because of an amazing wedding. A while back you all helped me with my wardrobe dilemma, and I am so glad you did. My husband knew what he would be wearing for this wedding (doesn't he look so very handsome?)….but I struggled a bit. After a while I landed on this amazing dress from nation’s outfitters, black wedges that I had already and some jewelry that I picked up here and there.

(we had to move inside because of the sunshine smiles, it was hot and hazy and the air was full of smoke on this day due to about half a dozen wildfires burning in the area. unfortunately that’s a pretty normal summer think around here.)

And the wedding? It was beautiful…outdoors in the setting sun, a radiant bride and handsome groom. But I think what really made it what it was the obvious love and adoration that they had for each other. And the sweetest part? They didn’t kiss, all through their dating and courtship-not even once. So their first kiss was as husband and wife, it was so very sweet and I think it’s fair to say there wasn’t a dry eye in the place.
Romantic? Yes. There’s nothing like a wedding to remind you why you said yes to your husband, and to bring back those mushy gushy feelings.
And that’s all I’ve got for you today, because unfortunately my getting dressed this week was an epic fail. It was nothing but yoga clothes and the standard skirt/tank for me. But Lindsay and every one else have some great outfits this week!

school’s a coming…..

2011-08-29T21:15:00.001-07:00

the pencils are sharpened, the books are stacked up, the erasers are ready…..

tomorrow is the day, ready or not we are diving in….homeschool year 2011-2012 we’re coming to get ya!

2 out of 3 students are psyched, one teacher is super excited….we are ready to roll

I have to admit I was a little nervous at having a 3rd grader, 1st grader and kindergartener all at the same time. But my amazing friend Jen gave us a sample schedule that showed me that I could in fact pull this off. With her amazing scheduling abilities and God’s grace I know I can do this.

I don’t talk too much about our homeschool journey mostly because sometimes I feel like I’m just making it up as I go. I feel like I don’t have much to share that would be helpful to others, and honestly because sometimes it’s not a very pretty picture. You can see our school room and guess that we might have a clue what we’re doing, or that I might be a super star teacher but you’d be wrong. We’re just one family, teaching our kids at home to the best of our abilities. We do it because it we know it’s what we are supposed to be doing right now, and we do it because we enjoy having the privilege of teaching our own kids at home. You’ll notice that I’m saying “we” a lot here, it’s not just me as a teacher, my husband is as much in this as I am too. And when his work schedule allows for it, he’s helping me with lessons or with discipline or with laundry. I can’t even begin to say how amazing that is to me and how grateful I am for it. I could not do this without his help, support and prayers.

And so tomorrow we’ll be off and away on another school year, I am looking forward to it. I also know that it will be tough sometimes, but for every day that’s difficult there are several that are not. For every frustrating lesson there are a handful that are so rewarding. For every tear cried (by student or teacher) there are lots of laughs. In the end I think it all balances out, and did I mention this? This high calling as a mom/teacher is so worth it to me. (even when it’s hard)

So say a prayer for us tomorrow friends, we’re off on a new adventure!

summer tradition

2011-08-26T08:41:00.001-07:00

one of our summer traditions is Scout Lake, a little tiny lake west of Sisters. when the weather heats up we head out. we pack up for the day and soak and splash and rest.

I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves:

thankfully, it was finally warm enough to do it. as summer is winding down our weather is heating up, better late than never but that is a reality with the weather around here. what kind of summer traditions are you working to get in before fall starts?

“camping”

2011-08-23T14:37:00.001-07:00

This weekend we “camped.” It was really hot so we went to the lake.

We had a fire and made s’mores, food always tastes better when camping right?

We also hit the local pool. So spacious that all five of us fit in. Trust me, it wasn’t really about comfort.

Of course the tent was in full use.

And although this wasn’t the camping trip that we had planned, this was the “camping” trip we had. At home. We had made plans for a weekend of camping at our favorite lake, but life interrupted. Mainly, a men’s retreat and a wedding that will pull my husband away from work a bit this week. Being self employed makes getting time off a bit tricky, because if he doesn’t work we really don’t get paid. One of the joys of self employment is that we can be flexible with our hours, one of the drawbacks is that there is no paid time off. So when it came down to it we would have had, at best, one night camping. And now, if you have ever camped as a mom with three kids and one friend along you know the work it takes to pack and prepare. All of that was just not worth it for one night. So we improvised.

We could have pouted and complained, we could have thrown a major fit. But we were flexible and got the treat of camping at home, so relaxed and so easy. And everyone had fun. Being flexible matters, with camping trips and life. And because we were home my amazing husband made his amazing crepes for breakfast. And because we were home we got to hit our favorite bakery for a donut on the way to the lake.

Lesson learned? Be flexible. And work to make the most of it. I guess this really was a staycation, wasn’t it? Whatever it was, it was fun.

Have you ever camped at home?

wiww, something new

2011-08-23T08:44:00.000-07:00

it’s time for another wiww!

it’s been hot. not crazy hot, like in some parts of the country but hot for us. like, in the 90’s. I know, some folks would love that temperature. For us here in good ol’ Oregon, mid 90’s are hot. especially because AC does not come standard around here. all of that to say that I haven’t switched things up too much in the wardrobe department.

but I did take on Lindsay’s challenge to wear something you haven’t worn in a while in a new way. so I give you a new/old outfit:

skirt: patagonia, yes it’s spendy. but when I asked for yoga skirts for my birthday I told my husband I’d be totally thrilled with old navy’s version. he’s a big spender folks, he goes for quality even if it’s spendy. I love him for that, and as a result I love this skirt.

top: target

belt: wally-mart clearance

the new part is the belt, I have never, ever worn a belt this way. I think I really like this outfit, might be repeating it soon.

top: kohl’s, I love the detail on the back

skirt: you’ve seen this one before, athleta and another favorite

another hot day, hence the crazy messy updo

dress: patagonia, it’s a halter that can be worn as a skirt. super versatile, and cool. not as in hip, but as in my oregon blood does not do 95 degrees so I need to wear as little as possible while still being modest, thank you very much

tank: target

top: from REI

necklace: handmade by my friend

and same black skirt from above

and now, I’m even sick of looking me, I can imagine how all you must feel!

this coming week’s challenge is to wear something thrifted….I haven’t thrifted in a while so I’m up for that challenge!

and as always, thank you Lindsay for challenging me to get out workout/yoga clothes and get dressed!

around here

2011-08-20T20:55:00.001-07:00

summer is winding down…..

but we still make time for boysenberry pie

and afternoon games of hiss

and pulling the laundry off the line, does anything smell better than line dried laundry? I think not.

and of course, waiting for pie

and loosing teeth

and the summer staple of tomato sandwiches, with basil fresh from the garden

and then there’s box sitting. I know other kids do this, all of my kids have done this-try to fit into boxes from deliveries. I know someday she’ll grow out of this, I really don’t want that day to come though.

And this weekend we are having the grand adventure of camping, in our backyard. It’s supposed to be hot, and I’m sure we’ll be heading to the river for a float and then to the lake for a dip. We want to snatch up all of the summer goodness that we can before we’re back to school. It’s always bittersweet, the end of summer. I find myself longing for the routine and predictability of fall, but missing the carefree and relaxing days that summer brings. And then it always seems like it was just too short, like we just needed a few more weeks, even as we long for the days of autumn. Life is like that, isn’t it? It’s hard to be content sometimes, we find ourselves looking for the next thing too often. At least I know that I do. I feel as though I am forever looking towards the next thing while longing to be present and enjoy the thing that I have right now. Restless in my own skin, I am looking for a place to land. I think that unnamed longing is really birthed of a God who is always wanting me to be pulled toward my eternal home. There’s a tension that comes from living out a life that will not and cannot be anything like the life that I will have on the other side of glory. Yet, I know that this transient life is a gift, a blessing even though often times a burden. I guess when I find myself restless for the next season in life it is because I’m needing the reminder that I am living this earthly life in preparation for the next big thing: my heavenly home.

I know that all of this has absolutely nothing to do with our weekend plans, but sometimes I think this soul needs reminding that I am not home yet. This is earth is just a foreshadow of the glory to come. I long for that, the other side of glory. When I’m restless here I can remind myself that someday I will be home, in the meantime God has given me a very specific job to do. It’s my role as a wife, mother, friend, sister, neighbor, and Christ follower to point others to Him. So others can someday know their true home as well.

wiww

2011-08-17T09:05:00.001-07:00

It’s time for WIWW again! I finally got some pictures of my clothes this week, yippie! But I’m sensing a trend here: skirts and tanks and flip flops. I didn’t attempt Lindsay’s challenge to mix stripes and florals, mostly because I don’t have much of either. I guess I’m more of a solid gal.

I tend to stick with what works for me, what’s comfy and what I feel good in. I guess that’s what you’re supposed to do with clothes, right?

Sunday Sunday Sunday (which means church and impromptu naps on the couch later)

top: came from TJ Maxx ages ago-I still love it

skirt: Kohl's-this is one of my most versatile and favorite purchases in a long time. Once upon a time I worked at a bank and had a decent stock of professional clothes. Since kids came along those were pretty much unnecessary, and plus they didn’t fit anyway. But I wanted something a little smarter, I picked this up and wear it all the time. Winter, spring, summer and fall this skirt works. I love it.

necklace: handmade by me

flip flops: I know, so boring and all. Comfort and practicality drive my footwear. I run too many miles a week to ruin my knees on super cute but uncomfortable heels or wedges. Sometimes I wear them, but always bring a back up pair of flats with me.

kicking it around the house day

top: Target long and lean tank (LOVE these!)

skirt: altheta

flip flops: I know, I know. they’re chacos and I love them.

and last but not least:

skirt: ann taylor, thrifted (can I get a woot-woot for this one? finding a size 2 ann taylor skirt at goodwill is miraculous! every once in a while I strike gold)

white tank: eddie bauer outlet

necklace: handmade by my friend

flip flops: (I know, I know, enough with the flip flops! old navy)

What about you? Have you ever mixed stripes and florals before? Next week’s challenge is to pull something out from the closet that you never wear and figure out a new way to wear it. I think I’ll add to it: wear real shoes. Well, we’ll see-I’ll try, how’s that?

an hour and a half to a new room

2011-08-16T12:58:00.001-07:00

Has your home ever been so dirty it seemed like the best thing was to move everything and start fresh? Mine gets that way from time to time. Which I am sure is why I am a compulsive furniture mover, I can’t help it because I inherited this condition from my mom. One day my back and my bladder will be really angry with me over this, I just know it. But for now? I think it’s a great way to cause a little bit of peace to reign in our house.

So when I looked around and saw chaos everywhere I knew I had to get cracking.

There were actually dirty breakfast dishes under that blue pillow. This picture was taken after lunch, let’s all say it together: “Ewwwwwww.”

A close inspection of the floors would have revealed a lack of vacuuming and sweeping for ah…about four days. In some houses this is not a big deal. Around here we have a shedding dog, like really shedding. At any given point during the day I can easily pull a hand full or more of dog hair off of him. I’ll spare you the picture on that……yes, you’re welcome.

Yes, it was bad. Especially because someone had forgotten to dust since…..well, I honestly don’t remember. The kids were drawing pictures on the furniture.

I got started at 1:20.

At 2:50, a mere hour and a half later peace had over come the house.

And cleanliness, that was there too. Look, there were even peacefully playing children. I think I heard the faint note of angels singing.

Even Ethel got a good dusting. She is by far one of my favorite accessories, unfortunately due to old age she tends to overheat easily and therefore cannot be put to work. She just gets to sit and watch the goings on, lucky girl. I think she’s got a sweet retirement plan. I sure hope my kids would do the same for me when I’m old and having hot flashes, just let me sit and dust me off every once in a while. Doesn’t that sound grand?

And so for about half an hour the house was orderly and neat as a pin. Then the dog came back in and, well, the rest is history. It was worth it though, totally worth it.

And the bonus is that I can throw my vintage quilt over the back of the couch and see it all the time. That makes me one happy furniture moving gal.

I finished off the afternoon like this. Not bad for 90 minutes of work!

hello Monday (the catch up post)

2011-08-15T09:57:00.001-07:00

hello flowers, fresh from the garden

hello little girl in a silly outfit, striking a pose for the camera

hello orange running shoes, that sadly do make me run as fast as they look

hello going to bed early (I know, I'm old)

hello family bike rides

hello getting back into routine and ordering school books

hello hammock time

hello new week, halfway through the month

After being scattered and separated it's been nice to be back together, catching up with each other and just being us-classic family. We're gearing up for another homeschooling year too, one I'm entering with a bit of nervousness since I will have three students this year. Lord help us all.

So this week we are all about squeezing the last bit of fun out of summer, enjoying lazy mornings and late nights while they last. How about you? What are you up to this week?

a mommy break does a mommy good

2011-08-11T11:41:00.001-07:00

I realize today that I’ve been out for awhile, M.I.A I guess. The kids were gone with grandma and grandpa for two weeks. We were at summer camp with our amazing youth group for one of those weeks, and then for some reason our bed was the most wonderful place to be for a few days. I guess 5 hours of sleep a night for a week just isn’t enough for this old body of mine.

Still it seems like I’m still recovering, still catching up. We retrieved our happy brood of kiddos and then subsequently spent two days just looking at them. Oh, how we missed them. Don’t get me wrong, it was wonderful to have time away and time off from the rigors of parenthood. But I was all too happy to pick up my mom hat and apron come Sunday.

But having the longest break from motherhood ever sure gave me some time to think. Maybe it was the silent house and undistracted mind that helped with that, but I dare say I was reminded that I do indeed have a brain and am happy to report that I think it functions rather well.

In the middle of the quiet days and long mornings spent with Jesus over coffee I remembered that I was not created to only be a mother. There is more to life than this crazy, busy stage of parenthood. I have a deeper purpose in life, you have a deeper purpose too. Ultimately, that is to know and experience a deep relationship with the living God. I remember reading something in the book The Celebration of Discipline (I think it was that book?) about creating the discipline of solitude. The value of quiet time, alone. It even went as far as suggesting that it is well worth it to book a small hotel room or cabin for a few days to simply be alone. While I always thought this was a splendid idea, I also thought it was slightly crazy. How on earth could a busy mom pull that off? I am so grateful to my parents who allowed this happen for me. In the silent rhythms of a week alone I found myself more sensitive to God’s nearness, aware of his moving. Noticing him more and talking less, hearing more clearly. The distractions fell away and the forced quiet allowed me to his voice in a fresh new way. I ended my mommy vacation renewed. Don’t we all need that?

It’s hard to carve time out of life to be alone with God. It can literally feel like you are etching something in stone, working against an unseen force with all your might. But like an everlasting sculpture, our times alone with God leave their mark on us. We come away renewed and changed, refreshed and amazingly longing for more. I read once of a mom who would regularly farm out her kids so that she could have even half a day devoted solely to time with God. Her God-dates were like cold water on a hot day, quenching her thirsty soul. We allow our souls to get far too thirsty some days. The discipline and commitment to time with God is well worth the effort, if it takes rising early or trading childcare or late night hours it is worth it. How we do this is different for each of us, but the most important is that we do this. Often. That is my school year goal, I am stating it here in an effort to be accountable. What about you friends, would you join me in some sculpting?

(these awesome pictures were taken at camp by one of our awesome youth…just a tiny sample of the amazing shots she got all week. thank you Kyra for taking these!)

japanese flower wrap, a ta-da moment

2011-08-01T06:44:00.000-07:00

No, it’s not some sort of sushi. It’s a wrap. It is beautiful, it was fun to make and fun to wear for a bit before I wrapped it up and gave it to my lovely friend Anna.

I found the inspiration for this beauty over at Attic24, who had found it from another blog.

I tinkered with it for a while because I couldn’t find a pattern, I tried to come up with my own and got close but was happy to stumble across the pattern on Ravelry….the rest is history.

I wanted to keep going, those little flowers are easy and fun to make. Wouldn’t this be amazing as an afghan?

But it’s time to move on to the next crochet project…..Christmas is coming!

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And in unrelated news, we’re going to summer camp today. Pray for me, pray for those kids to hear from God….we are so excited, we know it’s going to be good. See you next week friends!

2011-07-28T15:01:00.000-07:00

Today is a special Thursday, and not just because my kids are gone having a ball with the grandparents. My friend Leslie asked my to share a bit of God's grace over at her blog, Top of the Page.

It's grace that I've received over many busy seasons in my life, grace that comes like a breath of fresh air when I'm overdone and overbooked and overscheduled.

Click here to see what God's been speaking to me, hopefully it will encourage you too.

Leslie, thanks for letting me share today and whenever your ready to move up here let us know...I'll help you house hunt! :)

hello Monday….

2011-07-25T22:28:00.001-07:00

hello Oregon coast, we love to visit you

hello ocean treasures

hello camp food

hello campers, as happy as kids at a candy store

and hello quiet week, minus three kids who are with Mimi and Grampie for the next two weeks

yes, you read that right-two weeks without kids. of course one of those weeks we’ll be surrounded by awesome teenagers at summer camp. it’s going to be a quiet week followed by a really fun (yet exhausting week)

what’s exciting in your world right now?

how did this happen?

2011-07-22T09:11:00.000-07:00

my baby turned five. crazy, huh? just yesterday she was crawling around and mashing carrots in her hair…now she rides a two wheeler and can read.

this is not right.

but she sure is cute and wonderful at this stage (although I do miss her as a baby, well I miss all my kids as babies.)

yessiree, a whole handful.

we had a plan to go to the lake for the day, her favorite thing to do. but the weather was awful…really rainy and windy and cold? in july. so not right. so we celebrated by shopping at our favorite local toy store, eating at our favorite ice cream place, watching the winnie the pooh movie and dining at the best place restaurant for a five year old to be for her birthday: red robin.

fun stuff and she was thrilled with it all.

her birthday breakfast was pancakes with whipped cream surrounded by red grapes. she ate the whipped cream and the grapes.

ice cream at goody’s, she only ate the cone.

I think she was on overload by this time, she ate the cherry and the whipped cream. notice a trend here? that girl loves her whipped cream.

yep, she’s a big girl-there’s no denying it. Happy Birthday Miss Aida. and I don’t care how old you are, you’ll always be my baby.

(this is for you mom, we took the last four pictures while she was talking to you on the phone)

how to spend a summer afternoon

2011-07-20T21:28:00.001-07:00

visit the local puddle, buckets are required

get your white sundress soaking wet

find some new friends

walk home

stop to visit the neighborhood horses, they always come running when we walk by-I think they must think we have treats

try to find a suitable habitat for your new friends

go to wally mart to buy an appropriate home for four tadpoles.

and then, every morning check on them to see how big their legs are. this is the really fun part…we have one teenie, tiny frog now. he jumps all around in there, I think he must be learning. it’s fun, and educational and that fits the bill for a cheap summer thrill. (I’m going to call this summer school, sound good?)

what should I wear……

2011-07-20T09:40:00.001-07:00

Okay you all, I’ve got some issues over here….I need some wardrobe help.

My hubby is in a wedding next month, an outdoor wedding-with dancing. He gets to wear a tux. The last time I saw him in a tux I married him…be still my heart. I am so excited to see him all fancy pants and handsome.

The only problem is me…what on earth will I wear?

I’ve got it narrowed down to this dress, from Nation’s Outfitters. Don’t you just looove it? I do. It’s so comfy, and I loved working with the folks there too. They were so helpful, even when there were problems with my order. They fixed everything, and super fast too. I love them. I love this dress. Go check them out. (and they’re not giving me anything to say this, I just think they’re awesome)

Okay, back to the outfit: I wanted to wear the dress with these shoes that I found on eBay. But looking at them together I’m not so sure. They’re super cute and high, which is good for dancing with my six foot six hubby. But I’m not loving them with the dress….what do you think? Would they be better with a different necklace? Or something else?

Cause if I can’t figure anything out I’ll have to resort to my summer standby, flip-flops? Not so super fancy. I’m at a loss.

I was thinking that the red shoes might work if I balanced them on top with a red something, necklace or hair thingy or something. What do you think?

And then there’s the issue of jewelry…which necklace?

Or do I skip it and go with some hair thingy?

What to do? What to do? I need your help gals….what would you wear?

it’s still yes

2011-07-17T07:16:00.000-07:00

12 years ago today I said yes to the most amazing man.

Well, in all truth-I said yes 12 years and 13 months ago while he looked up at me on one knee, a hopeful expression on his young 21 year old face.

And then I said “I will” to that same man, as handsome as could be in a tuxedo at a small church surrounded by our friends and family.

And today, I still say yes. And I still think he’s as handsome as ever.

Some days I don’t want to say yes, and there have been seasons when saying yes to him and our marriage has been really hard.

But still, I say yes; yes to his needs, yes to his priorities, yes to his leadership. Yes, even when I don’t want to. Yes, even when I don’t feel like being the wife he needs. Yes, even when I’m tired and worn out. Yes, even when there has been distance between us.

And of course I say yes when it’s been fun and easy and we’re feeling blissful in love.

It’s easy to say yes when things are easy and going great. It’s hard to say yes when it’s not. But that’s when yes really counts. I say yes not because I’m so awesome, but because I promised to. 12 years ago I said yes to him, yes to us. In sickness and health and richer and poorer, good times and bad; I promised to say yes. I can say yes because he promised to do the same, I can say yes to him as my husband and friend, leader and lover because I know he’s saying yes to me and most importantly to God. That makes it easier. I wonder where our marriage would be without God’s leadership and love in our lives. Most likely it would not be in a good place.

After all these years I can honestly say that our marriage is better now that it has ever been. Love has grown deeper, affections fonder, and our connection stronger. I think that’s because we regularly say yes to us.

Saying yes at the altar was easy, but it has been saying yes in the every day choices that has really made the difference. It is saying yes to him as I buy his favorite snacks at the grocery store, yes to his needs by taking care of my appearance, yes to his preferences. It means I’m less controlling and more forgiving, not focused on me but always shifting my attention to him. Basically it is placing his needs above my own. And the cool thing about it is that he does the same for me. It’s a win-win when we both say yes.

My answer to him is still the same as it was way back then, I will still say yes. And if given the chance to do it over again, even the hard times, I would still say one thousand times yes.

I adore him and I know that I have found a rare gift in this man I call my own. I know that I’m blessed abundantly because of him in my life. He always says that he married up, but I don’t know about that. The longer we’re together the more I realize what a prize he is. I long for a lifetime of saying to yes to him.

Twelve years, three kids, four homes, seven vehicles, several different jobs, one small business, one dog and immeasurable joys and laughs-that is a lot of yeses. Today, as we celebrate 12 years of being husband and wife I’m praying for thousands and thousands more.

how to get four hours of quiet, without sending the kids away

2011-07-13T16:35:00.001-07:00

1. let your kids stay up way too late on a summer night so that they’re grumpy and cranky the next morning

2. watch in dismay as your husband gets ready to leave for a long day of work

3. start panicking because you have no idea how to keep these cranky natives from mutiny and a hostile takeover

4. marry the smartest man ever (well, that actually happened first but you get the idea). the smartest man ever makes the smartest suggestion ever…..

5. take cranky natives to the library

6. pick out as many books as you can carry home

7. make three different forts in separate rooms, one for each kid

8. give them half an hour in each fort, then switch

9. sit down and put your feet up, and enjoy the quiet sounds of turning pages and happy kids

now go ahead and try it, it really worked! quiet all day long….blissful quiet. what every mother needs.

hello Monday…

2011-07-11T08:48:00.001-07:00

hello nice backyard spot, my favorite place to start the day

hello little girl dancing with the most patient dog in the world

hello half marathon completed

hello pedicure

hello smores around the fire pit

hello afternoon at the river

hello to another beautiful summer week. what do you have planned this week?